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hawkeye
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A woman was very distraught over the fact that she had not had a date or any

sex for over 5 years. She was afraid she might have something wrong with

her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of the well known Chinese

sex therapist Dr. Chang. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said,

"OK, take off all your crose".

The woman did as she was told."Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to

odderside of room". Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang

then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me". As she did, Dr.

Chang shook his head slowly. "Your problem vey bad. You haf Ed Zachary

Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or

dates".

The woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary

Disease?".

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face

look Ed Zachary like your ****.

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>

>A farmer in New Zealand buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.

>After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting

>pregnant,and phones a vet for help.

>

>The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer

>doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display

>his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are

>pregnant.

>

>The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lye

>down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.

>

>The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that

>artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself. So,

>he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has

>sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

>

>Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all

>still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads

>them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each

>sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

>

>Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.

>"Try again," he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them

>out to the woods. He spends all day banging the sheep and upon returning

>home falls listlessly into bed.

>

>The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of

>the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying

>in the grass.

>

>"No," she says, "they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is tooting

>the horn".

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