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NorfolkBoy
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London 16th August - A public school teacher was arrested today at Gatwick

Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler,

a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

 

At a morning press conference, Home Secretary John Reid said he believes

the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not

identify the man, who has been charged by the Met Police with carrying

weapons of maths instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Reid said.

"They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on

tangents in a search of absolute values. They use secret code names like

'x` and `y` and refer to themselves as `unknowns,` but we have determined

they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with

co-ordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to

say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle".

 

When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister Tony Blair, speaking

from his holiday resort before the planes stopped flying, said, "If God

had wanted us to have better Weapons of Maths Instruction, He would

have given us more fingers and toes."

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