An early Friday joke

[Browning GTS]

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, "Mary. Mary."

"Is that you, Fred?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice.

 

I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon.

After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again."

"Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Not exactly, I'm a rabbit in Suffolk."

[Ferret Master]

Cracking.

[Poacher]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!†The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!†The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.â€

 

 

and another

 

 

An Eskimo is out for a drive one day when his car breaks down and he is forced to call out the Alaskan AA. The Eskimo stands in the howling wind and waits for the mechanic to arrive. When the mechanic reaches the broken car, he sets to work, looking under the bonnet until he appears to have located the problem. He looks up at the Eskimo and says, "You've blown a seal, mate." To which the Eskimo hastily replies, "No, I haven't. That's just frost on my moustache."

[dazza]