Browning GTS Posted April 19, 2006 Report Share Posted April 19, 2006 Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of >patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one. > >The patient replies: > >"Fair fa your honest sonsie face, >Great chieftain o the puddin race, >Aboon them a ye take yer place, >Painch, tripe or thairm, >As langs my airm." > >Blair is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. > >The patient responds: > >"Some hae meat an canna eat, >And some wad eat that want it, >But we hae meat an we can eat, >So let the Lord be thankit." > >Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, (as usual!) the PM moves >on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant: > >"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timrous beasty, >O the panic in thy breasty, >Thou needna start awa sae hastie, >Wi bickering brattle." > >Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, >"Is this a psychiatric ward?" > >"No," replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Browning GTS Posted April 19, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2006 Or A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO incredible! !! ! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? " "No," she replies. . . . . . " "You just happened to catch my eye." (Oh shut up, and just forward it!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted April 19, 2006 Report Share Posted April 19, 2006 :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidney Posted April 19, 2006 Report Share Posted April 19, 2006 :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swiftshot Posted April 19, 2006 Report Share Posted April 19, 2006 :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted April 19, 2006 Report Share Posted April 19, 2006 LMFBO LB :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chezney Posted April 19, 2006 Report Share Posted April 19, 2006 Oh dear that is bad :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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