Browning GTS Posted May 27, 2006 Report Share Posted May 27, 2006 The Lone Ranger and Tonto stopped in the desert for the night. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What that tell you?" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?" Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber than buffalo ****. It means someone stole tent." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Browning GTS Posted May 27, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2006 The Lord and the Biker A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me." The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miffy Posted May 27, 2006 Report Share Posted May 27, 2006 :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trakker01 Posted May 27, 2006 Report Share Posted May 27, 2006 lmao.......... :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davej Posted May 27, 2006 Report Share Posted May 27, 2006 :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza Posted May 27, 2006 Report Share Posted May 27, 2006 :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digger Posted May 27, 2006 Report Share Posted May 27, 2006 tonto and the lone ranger are riding across the plains when tonto dismounts and places his ear to the ground "buffalo come" he announces. "how do know that ?" asks his masked companion. "ear stuck to ground" replies tonto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted May 27, 2006 Report Share Posted May 27, 2006 I have sat here and told the wife the jokes. The eyebrows were raised at the Lone ranger joke :o guess I'm not on a promise now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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