fiiish1987 Posted June 16, 2006 Report Share Posted June 16, 2006 A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other hunter whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He screeches to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?†The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he’s dead.†There is a silence, followed by a deafening gunshot blast. “Ok,†the hunter says. “Now what?†look at this photo: http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/images...huntersleep.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted June 16, 2006 Report Share Posted June 16, 2006 A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other hunter whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He screeches to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?†The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he’s dead.†There is a silence, followed by a deafening gunshot blast. “Ok,†the hunter says. “Now what?†look at this photo: http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/images...huntersleep.htm **** Cheyney been out again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fiiish1987 Posted June 16, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2006 Big Game Hunter The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right. They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind,and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this blackeye?" His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P03 Posted June 17, 2006 Report Share Posted June 17, 2006 Big Game Hunter The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right. They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind,and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this blackeye?" His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe." Help me up off the floor Pleeeeeaaase. P03 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertie Posted June 18, 2006 Report Share Posted June 18, 2006 Big Game Hunter The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right. They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind,and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this blackeye?" His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe." Great! :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted June 18, 2006 Report Share Posted June 18, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darebear Posted June 18, 2006 Report Share Posted June 18, 2006 :blink: :unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedandlazee Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 Reminds me of a similar one about the blind guy who could tell the type of wood by the smell, so the guys pass him some pine and he declares it to be a scotch pine, they pass him a chunk of cedar and he guesses that too - after a while the guys get ****** off and decide to have a bit of fun and get the local tart to sit in front of him with her legs spread.... the guy takes a good sniff and declares.... its piece of old decking of a tuna fishing boat lolol Also the one about the blind snake and blind rabbit who bump into each other, what are you asks the snake - let me feel you and see if i can guess.... long ears, fluffy tail, large feet - you must be a bunny he says, correct says the rabbit, now its my turn... let em see, no eyelids, no hair, no ears and scaly skin ... i know you must be nicki lauda :blink: sick i know the old uns r the best (or worst in the case of these two lol) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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