fulltimeshooter Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 Ok heres a few jokes for THURSDAY! You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do? Shoot the lawyer. Twice. ................................................................................ ................ A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled. My husband quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My husband took a pistol from his pocket and shot him. I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'" ................................................................................ ................ A taxidermist is on vacation down south. He is feeling a little thirsty and decides to have a few drinks at the nearest tavern. Upon entering the tavern, the conversation stops and all eyes turn to him. Feeling a little uneasy, he makes his way to the bar to order a beer. The bartender serves him and says, "Ya'll ain't from 'round these parts, is ya?" Guy: "No...I am from Connecticut." Bartender: "What is it you do up there in Connecticut?" Guy: "Well, I am a taxidermist." Bartender: "A taxidermist...Hey Al, you ever hear of a taxi- dermist?" Al: "No, never heard of it." Bartender: "So Mr. Taxidermist, what is it you do exactly?" Guy: "Well, I mount dead animals." Bartender: "It's OK boys--he's one of us!". ................................................................................ ................ One day joey,sam, and bob went on a hunting trip. When they finally got a deer and started heading back to the car it was already getting late. after awhile joey and sam started complaining. Joey was tired of dragging the deer and wanted to stop and gut it, to make it lighter. Sam just had to go! realy bad. After awhile bob got tired of the whining and stopped. Sam went off in the woods to go! while joey and bob gut the deer. After a couple minutes joey and bob took some deer guts and snuck up on sam. they placed the guts under sam and went back to finish guting the deer. when sam came back his face was white as if he had seen a ghost."guys i really had to go! and i mean i REALLY had to go!" said sam. joey and bob started laughing and asked what had hapened. "well i went and when i turned around to look at what was in me i saw my guts in a big pile, but dont worry, i put them back in!"said sam. ................................................................................ ................ What do you think then guys? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertie Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 Class Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fulltimeshooter Posted July 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 Class Thought you would like them bertie Great minds think alike eh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertie Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 Realy are you drunk too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Browning GTS Posted July 6, 2006 Report Share Posted July 6, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza Posted July 7, 2006 Report Share Posted July 7, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P03 Posted July 7, 2006 Report Share Posted July 7, 2006 A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled. My husband quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My husband took a pistol from his pocket and shot him. I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'" rotflmao P03 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killer rabbit (r1000) Posted July 8, 2006 Report Share Posted July 8, 2006 One day joey,sam, and bob went on a hunting trip. When they finally got a deer and started heading back to the car it was already getting late. after awhile joey and sam started complaining. Joey was tired of dragging the deer and wanted to stop and gut it, to make it lighter. Sam just had to go! realy bad. After awhile bob got tired of the whining and stopped. Sam went off in the woods to go! while joey and bob gut the deer. After a couple minutes joey and bob took some deer guts and snuck up on sam. they placed the guts under sam and went back to finish guting the deer. when sam came back his face was white as if he had seen a ghost."guys i really had to go! and i mean i REALLY had to go!" said sam. joey and bob started laughing and asked what had hapened. "well i went and when i turned around to look at what was in me i saw my guts in a big pile, but dont worry, i put them back in!"said sam. ................................................................................ ................ EEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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