Joke

[Fisherman Mike]

The Tesco Doctor.

 

One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,

 

"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"

 

Listen; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.

 

There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample

 

and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.

 

It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and

 

better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points".

 

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.

 

He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the

 

urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

 

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy

 

activity. It will improve in two weeks".

 

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack

 

began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

 

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples

 

from his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the mixture

 

for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what

 

would happen.

 

He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the

results.

 

The computer prints the following:

 

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

 

2) your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

 

3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

 

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

 

5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never

 

get better....

 

Thank you for shopping at Tesco

[dusk2dawn]

:blink: :blink: good fun joke

 

D2D

[monkeyjaimz]

:blink: :blink: needed that, thanks

[currieboy]

:blink: :blink: needed that, thanks

 

why isnt your elbow healing?:yp:

:yp: