A bit of a Personal One - Advice Please

[Mungler]

11 minutes ago, discobob said:

Nope, the only people that she has are local immigrants and her SSAFA work. Only one fella who has anything to do with her now from her neighbours and he has cut that back and only went round when she texted asking for his sprayer and she dropped this on him, - hence how I have found out. She has cut her sister off who was a saint after my Dad died doing all sorts for my mother (I am in touch with her regularly), and goes round to her other Sister and Brother-in-law. Apparently they would love to talk to me but won't because they are scared of my mother and what trouble she would create for them (as I said above that she is very vindictive) and she complains about being lonely. 

There was a family friend (looked on my Dad as a brother) and his wife - I knew him for most of my life, and he was a signature/reference for many things during my life (including my initial SGC). He was a top fella around St. Helens and was a former JP. I was invited to his funeral, mother wasn't as she had 'cut them off' and I talk with his Widow a few times in the year, and nip and see her at Christmas to drop her card off when I do my Christmas run back to my old area

 

No one likes anyone being rude about their family, your own family is there for just you to be rude about.

That said, the evidence suggests that your mother is poisonous, and as sad and hard as that may be she through her actions is making it easy for you to draw a line and move on.

You’re going to be better off without her, and whatever maternal side of her you naturally would want to see, just isn’t there - it’s not just you, it’s not there for everyone in her world.

Not good. But focus on the good in your life and try not to think about it - it takes 15 seconds for a negative thought to manifest and spiral and the trick is that when you have a negative thought arrive and know you’re heading down a rabbit hole of over analysis, just start to think about something positive - your own wife and kids, grandkids etc. It works and it stops the lying awake at 2 am, 3 am and 4 am dwelling and over thinking stuff about people and circumstances that will never change.