ollie Posted May 8, 2004 Report Share Posted May 8, 2004 VASELINE >Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, >he >comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even > >better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in >absolute mint condition. > He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such >great >condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the >seller, >"whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on >the >chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of >Vaseline. >That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her >parents. >Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before >they enter the >house, >Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my >family >before we go in. "When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first >person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes". > "No problem," he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in >the >middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the >kitchen is >another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, >everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. >They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner >progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans >over >and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles >her >breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her > >clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in >front >of her parents. > His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and >her >mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks >at >her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends >her >over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right >there >on the dinner table. >Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total >silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts >to >rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his >pocket. >Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, >that's >enough, I'll do the #### dishes!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ollie Posted May 8, 2004 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2004 Another funny: CHINESE SICK LEAVE - I NOT COME WORK TODAY Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, Boss I not come work today, I leally sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work." The Boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that. Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great, I be at work soon. You got nice house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_stag88 Posted May 8, 2004 Report Share Posted May 8, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted May 8, 2004 Report Share Posted May 8, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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