danccooke Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 So then, who like me is on a night shift or just plain bored and up late. I have watched all I want to watch on the BBC Iplayer. Sky player suck as i don't have multiroom so can only watch sport basically and at this time of night it is all ****. Radio makes me want to slit my wrists. The snoring of my colleague is getting irritating, i might have to think up some childish games to play in the office. I've been and checked the water and oil on the truck ready for this mornings drive to newquay. Filled her up (90 liters exactly, must have been really down in the crappy stuff) and it is too early to go for a shower yet. I'll save that for 0500hrs, something to do whilst being paid and wake me up properly for the drive. I've read this months, sporting gun and sporting shooter (cracking bargain at the game fair, £20 for years subs plus a bottle of Famous Grouse which I don't drink so that is my permissions crissy present sorted) I've even polished my boots this evening. can anyone tell it is a quiet one in the office tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christy_stone Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 Slap your mate from behind untill he wakes up then hide when he does, snigger while he fumbles around trying to work out where he is and what's going on perfect for a little laugh for about 2 seconds! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danccooke Posted July 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 I am waiting for him to wake up and put his shoes back on to go for a ciggy, he'll be making wine the old fashioned way Childish but everytime i've heard him stir i've had to stiffle a chuckle at the thought of him putting his grape loaded shoes on. I've also doctored the screens (we have 8 60" LCD's on the wall monitoring the system) there is now a major failure listed, a screen shot i took months ago just for such an occasion, so when he wakes up and see's me with my head in my laptop and not looking at the screen he'll panic and think we've missed a major failure. then c r a p himself as that i his role to monitor. mine is to fix. Everyone loves working with me, they always say "oh I'm on with Dan, Great!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christy_stone Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 Hahaha love the grapes in shoes idea what u should do is when he falls asleep while ur driving as he is waking up keep the eye that he cannot see open but the onefacing him closed slouch in the seat and pretend to be asleep.For a few seconds he will **** himself. What kind of work are you in security or something I couldn't quite grasp it from the last thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danccooke Posted July 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 ahh sorry confusing people, I am office based we are in a big office that has 8 big screens on the wall with the current status of the systems we monitor, but previously when there have been major issues I took some screen dumps of the system looking in a crappy state, i have now substituted the proper screens with these screen shots, so when he wakes he will look up at the big screens and see it looking in a real mess. Then panic when he see's I seemingly haven't noticed. The long drive is when i finish but that's purely pleasure, I am picking up my brother and two best mates and heading to Newquay (220miles) for the weekend. My mates 30th. First weekend pass I have managed since my stag 5 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christy_stone Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 Oh right haha should be interesting to see his face then! One time I was night fishing there was a deaf angler a few pegs up and another person on the other side of the pond decided to take the vibrating ear piece out of his ear so he wouldn't wake up if there was a bite, took his rod off the rest and cast it over to by his bivvie he then turned the volume right up to screaming loud and retreated back to his bivvie. Well one tug of the line had the whole pond in up roar screaming at this poor deaf feller but of course he was still asleep and didn't hear a thing. Admittedly it had me in stiches just to see everyone going crazy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danccooke Posted July 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 Haha love the fishing prank. nothing beats a good pistake. well it had to happen, he woke. WOW for quite a mild mannered fella there isn't much of his rant that i could put on here without it being starred out. needless to say i just nearly wet myself as grape juice spurted out of the little holes on his deck shoes with every step, followed by a random expletive. He also said i could fix the uhum uhum system myself and he's going for a smoke. So I think if have endeared myself to another helpdesk colleague. Ah the joys of being in charge. whil he is out having a smoke i will move all the mice about, we have three pcs on each desk. if i don't post again or not for a while either he has stabbed me, or i am looking at a p45 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christy_stone Posted July 31, 2009 Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 Well good luck with taming the beast haha. You should have offered him some cheese to go with his freshly fermented wine, however i'm sure it will be mulled wine now by the sounds of it. If he is a smoker the next shift you are on take his packet and if you have the time remove the tobacco from all off the ciggies and fill the shafts with match heads then put about a pinch of tobacco back in the end. Stand well back and wait for him to come back in eyebrowless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danccooke Posted July 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2009 For fun like that wait till someone has a full deck of smokes and say you can show them a magic trick. and ask them to put both hands out in front of them palms facing the floor fingers spread, the one by one put all of the fags between thier fingers load both hands up. the the magic trick is calmly ripping up the box (or throwing in the pub fire) whilst they can do nothing to stop you as they have all thier fags wedged between thier fingers. I did this to a lad in the pub back when we could smoke in the bar, his mates ripped it out of him, I hadn't realised he was that drunk, somone else had done it to him earlier that day and he couldn't remember the punch line. He was sat at the bar with about 35 loose smokes next to his pint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danccooke Posted August 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 Ahhh another week of nights, another victim, I mean colleague Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozzy Fudd Posted August 3, 2009 Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 i decided to have a wee port before i went to bed. 2 and a half hours later i finished the ******* port and now onto vodka and red bull. wooo hooooo!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danccooke Posted August 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 hmm port, i'd love a port. I have cheese and grapes here too, I also have ham and other nicieties to put into the rolls which I left in the ******* cupboard at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozzy Fudd Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 ah. not good. look on the bright side! breads supposed to be fattening, youll lose weight Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danccooke Posted August 4, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 i'll sit here with a dried up busuit and some pond water. i'll be ok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadkill Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 same here counting down the hours till i get home , quite happy today as i have just got my 10 year service award .. only one more plane to deal with then off home to work the dogs before i crash out .. Also read sporting shooter tonight and also studying the dsc1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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