lurcherboy Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 Subject: Hospital Bloopers These are actual notations from hospital charts: 1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful, crying constantly, and also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status: Alive, but without permission. 10. Healthy, appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present. 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late ...... LB :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natures_son Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 thank **** i have a laptop :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedro Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 For some reason my right hand is stronger than the left...................................? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white fox Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 Oh dear, and I have just spent all today in hospital :( WF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry d Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 17 - :( ouch 15 - superb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirky640 Posted February 9, 2006 Report Share Posted February 9, 2006 still holding my mouse i love this forum lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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