white fox Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 How to shower like a woman Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. if you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. look at your womanly physique in the mirror -make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. get in the shower. use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. rinse conditioner off hair. shave armpits and legs. turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. spray mould spots with tile cleaner. get out of shower. dry with towel the size of a small country. wrap hair in super absorbent towel. return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. if you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How to shower like a man Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. walk naked to the bathroom. if you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. look at your manly physique in the mirror. admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. wash your face. wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. **** and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. wash your bum, leaving those coa*** bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. make a shampoo mohawk. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. throw wet towel on bed. WF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Pudding Posted March 7, 2006 Report Share Posted March 7, 2006 (edited) As Homer would say " It's funny 'cos it's true !! " all the best yis yp Edited March 7, 2006 by Yorkshire Pudding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave-G Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Huh - I never leave bum hairs on the soap... Only pubes in the bath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velveteens Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 So true *****. Nice one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bindi Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 One of the VERY BEST yet, because it is absolutely true, so true that at first you knew my wife, and then figured you knew us both pretty well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted March 8, 2006 Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Everything except the Mohawk and you forgot to **** in the shower. LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white fox Posted March 8, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2006 Everything except the Mohawk and you forgot to **** in the shower. LB first word - next to last para: Wee WF Glad you all liked it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted March 9, 2006 Report Share Posted March 9, 2006 Sorry WF missed it :*) LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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