BTMS Posted March 15, 2006 Report Share Posted March 15, 2006 >>> >President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to > invade next, when his telephone rang. > > Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, > up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland. Canada, eh? > "I > am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you > > Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big > is your army?" > > Right now," said Archie, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, > me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from > the pub. That makes eight!" > >>George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have ONE MILLION men in my > army waiting to move on my command." > > > Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" > > Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is > still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" > > And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked. > > > Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, 3 fishing boats, 2 harpoon > boats, a trawler with radar and Harry's farm tractor." > President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 6,000 tanks > and > 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one > and a half million since we last spoke." > > Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya." > > Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is > still on! We have managed to *** ourselves airborne! We up an' modified > Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four > byes from the Legion have joined us as well!" > George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you > Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military > complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And > since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" > Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse back." > > Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am > sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war." > > > I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?" > > Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long > chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can > feed > two million prisoners." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorfolkBoy Posted March 15, 2006 Report Share Posted March 15, 2006 Well I laughed...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the last engineer Posted March 16, 2006 Report Share Posted March 16, 2006 :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: Lard T'underin' Jaysus i tells ya bye crackin BTMS :thumbs: Martin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAMMY Posted March 16, 2006 Report Share Posted March 16, 2006 :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: I like it! Hammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza Posted March 16, 2006 Report Share Posted March 16, 2006 :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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