BTMS Posted April 29, 2006 Report Share Posted April 29, 2006 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men **** more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted April 29, 2006 Report Share Posted April 29, 2006 My wife could be watching, so I think those are horrible things to say However if she is not ................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie 1 Posted April 29, 2006 Report Share Posted April 29, 2006 Brilliant!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natures_son Posted April 29, 2006 Report Share Posted April 29, 2006 Why do women get married in white? Because thats what most kitchen appliances come in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipster Posted April 29, 2006 Report Share Posted April 29, 2006 cant work out why my missus didnt see the funny side Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davej Posted April 29, 2006 Report Share Posted April 29, 2006 cant work out why my missus didnt see the funny side Me neither,and when I cut her toes of so she could reach the kitchen sink she did'nt laugh. The old jokes are best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digga Posted April 29, 2006 Report Share Posted April 29, 2006 great stuff...thing is.. its all true.. they say women are only good for 2 things ..cooking n fckuing .. some cant even do that properly.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darebear Posted May 1, 2006 Report Share Posted May 1, 2006 ~raises an eyebrow~ :o :o :o damn, size seven makes that font HUGE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Browning GTS Posted May 1, 2006 Report Share Posted May 1, 2006 My misses just came in from the kitchen to moan at me. Will have to remember to shorten that bl**dy chain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davej Posted May 1, 2006 Report Share Posted May 1, 2006 My misses just came in from the kitchen to moan at me. Will have to remember to shorten that bl**dy chain. Or extend the Kitchen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnskevena Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.