Jump to content

Dont try and fool a computer


Axe
 Share

Recommended Posts

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." Listen, don't waste your time," Mike replies. There's a diagnostic computer down at Asda. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs five quid....

 

....a lot quicker and better than a doctor".

 

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

 

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".

 

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

 

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

 

Jack hurried back to Asda, eager to check what would happen. He deposited the required £5, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.

 

The computer printed the following:

 

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener - Aisle 5.

 

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo - Aisle 11.

 

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

 

4. Your wife is pregnant, with Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

 

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better....

 

.....and thank you for shopping at Asda

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...