Doctors most embarassing moments

[new to the flock]

Subject: Doctors most embarrassing moments!

 

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in

the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were

several cabs -and I was in the wrong one.

 

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX.

 

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed.

"Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.

 

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

 

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died

of a

"massive internal ****."

 

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

 

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist,

he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his

medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put

on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him

quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a

New one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

 

5. While acquainting my self with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long

have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she

answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was

alive."

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

 

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this

morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem

to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman

produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

 

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

 

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with

purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos,

and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the

patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.

When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo

that

read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the

patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

Submitted by RN no name

AND FINALLY!!!................

 

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed

when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had

unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady

upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further

embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and

sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No

doctor,but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".

 

Dr. wouldn't submit his name

[dazza]

:blink:

[Axe]

A barrel of laughs :blink:

[beatingisbest]

 

 

The first one is the best i reckon.