Jump to content

Few funnies for you (clean !!!)


old rooster
 Share

Recommended Posts

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade-launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.

Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance

 

Aim towards the Enemy.

Instruction printed on US rocket launcher

 

When the pin is pulled, Mr Grenade is no longer our friend.

US Marine Corps

 

Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed always to hit the ground.

USAF ammo troop

 

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

Infantry Journal

 

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

US Air Force Manual

 

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.

General Douglas Macarthur

 

Try to look unimportant to your enemy; they may be low on ammo.

Infantry Journal

 

You, you, and you ... panic. The rest of you, come with me.

US Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant

 

Tracers work both ways.

US Army Ordnance

 

Five-second fuses sometimes only last three seconds.

Infantry Journal

 

If your attack is going too well, you’re walking into an ambush.

Infantry Journal

 

No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.

Joe Gay

 

Any ship can be a minesweeper—but only once.

Anonymous

 

Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

Unknown Marine recruit

 

Don’t draw fire; it irritates the hell out of people around you.

Your buddies

 

If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.

USAF ammo troop

 

 

Though I fly through the Valley of Death, I shall fear no evil, for I am at 80,000 feet and climbing.

At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan

 

you’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.

Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)

 

The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.

Blue water Navy truism

 

There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.

From an old carrier sailor

 

If the wings are travelling faster than the fuselage, it’s probably a helicopter—and therefore, unsafe.

Anon.

 

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you will always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Anon.

 

Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.

Anon.

 

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If controller ATC screws up, the pilot still dies.

Anon.

 

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

Anon.

 

Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.

Anon.

 

When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavour to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible.

Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII

 

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.

Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

 

A pilot who doesn’t have any fear probably isn’t flying his plane to its maximum.

Jon McBride (astronaut)

 

If you’re faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.

Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

 

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

Anon.

 

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.

Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970

 

If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter, it’s about to.

Anon.

 

Basic Flying Rules: “Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognised by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.â€

Anon.

 

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.

Anon.

 

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks “What happened?†The pilot’s reply: “I don’t know, I just got here myself!â€

Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...