Paul in North Lincs. Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 How to shower like a woman 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to whites and coloureds. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 2. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups. 4. Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash hair again to make sure it is clean. 6. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes. 7. Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Shave armpits and legs. 9. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Tilex. 10. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 11. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas. How to shower like a man 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed leave in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom if you see wife along the way - shake **** at her making woo-hoo sound. 3. Look at manly physique in the mirror, admire size of **** and scratch your ***. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off. 6. Make **** noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower. 7. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving four pubes stuck on the soap. 8. Shampoo hair. Make shampoo mohawk. Pee. 9. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Partially dry off. 10. Fail to notice water on the floor. Admire **** size in mirror again. Leave shower door open, leave wet mat on the floor, leave light and fan on. 11. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake **** at her and make woo-hoo noise. Again. 12. Throw wet towel on bed/floor. I know your laughing because it is all true catch ye later Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEFTY478 Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 Well done that man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hodmedod.one Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 My wife says whoever wrote that is a genius..... I haven't a clue what she means by that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dusk2dawn Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 That is so true to life it hurts, started by smiling, developed into a chuckle finished up laughing out loud, well done.... hope the mods leave it on ,cause you did say "bum" D2D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P03 Posted April 20, 2007 Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 My wife says whoever wrote that is a genius..... I haven't a clue what she means by that Obviously written by a man then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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