dazzyboi Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 This one is brilliant, had me in fits This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and wome m with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with abaffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...but at least that b*tch knows I'm smarter than her. Alright girls. Forward this on if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, forward it on. Men, forward this on this because you have balls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charlie 1 Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grasshopper Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 It is agood 1 ....but was posted on here a little while back...oops!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzyboi Posted June 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 It is agood 1 ....but was posted on here a little while back...oops!! Damn, i didnt see it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berettaman1 Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 This one is brilliant, had me in fits This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and wome m with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with abaffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...but at least that b*tch knows I'm smarter than her. Alright girls. Forward this on if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, forward it on. Men, forward this on this because you have balls ha ha ha, funny joke bud, look out for all the anti joke members who will respond telling you its/ S---e, old as there grandads johnie, heard it all before, etc, blah ,blah , blah, merchants and like me decide not to post any more jokes on this forum, ha ha ha, i liked it anyway!. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hodmedod.one Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 ha ha ha, funny joke bud, look out for all the anti joke members who will respond telling you its/ S---e, old as there grandads johnie, heard it all before, etc, blah ,blah , blah, merchants and like me decide not to post any more jokes on this forum, ha ha ha, i liked it anyway!. Go on Son, get it off your chest....you'll feel better for it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokinbarrels Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 I've been in the same position.......still no sex!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaggy Dog Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You'rejust not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dusk2dawn Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 Well done Daz, the present mrs D2D has just read it and emailed it to herself at her office for sending on tomorrow to her mates, reckons its "just so cool", whatever that means bless her she only 21 D2D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dusk2dawn Posted June 28, 2007 Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 ha ha ha, funny joke bud, look out for all the anti joke members who will respond telling you its/ S---e, old as there grandads johnie, heard it all before, etc, blah ,blah , blah, merchants and like me decide not to post any more jokes on this forum, ha ha ha, i liked it anyway!. Go on Son, get it off your chest....you'll feel better for it Take no notice of them, you keep posting the jokes, cheered me up on many a morning. Most of us like a good chuckle and if the sourpusses dont like it move on..... D2D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzyboi Posted June 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2007 Haha, it certainly made my morning walking logging onto my pc at work and reading that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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