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Nonsense or bust


JohnGalway
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OK, now I got yer attention...

 

I'm bored. So, and I'm claiming having this idea as my get out of jail free card, how about you get to write a short story here. It can be about anything at all under or over the sun. The only rule is that it absolutely has to be complete nonsense, the more nonsensical the better. Any takers? :P

 

I knew, just knew that this title was doing to be a trap! :angry: I tried to ignore it, then I tried some more :unsure: , but although I was 99% sure that subterfuge was at work, I just couldn't help taking a little look :oops: , on the off-chance that JG had discovered a huge pile of porn whilst pest-controlling the grounds of the local convent or something :yahoo: .

 

JG, you're a scoundrel :shifty: , playing your naughty tricks upon the easly decieved, like me :yes: . That's at least twice you've caught me out now :lol: . And you'll probably catch me again, you bounder! :whistling:

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Me and my mate was poaching last night, on J G, land what a dump! nowt about to shoot or even Write home about, everything worth shooting had been shot allready, when suddenly,,, looking down towards the orchard, We noticed a vixen with about 10 cubs in tow , heading for an adjoining field. My mate who is a better shooter than me,(thats easy nowadays) carefully put a fearthered .177 dart into the smooth bored barrel of his Gat airpistol and asked ( in a whisper) how far out they were? I looked through my Busnell rangerfinder and replied, (in a whisper) 180.yards. too far, even for a great shooter like you! (still in whisper mode) my mate ,with a sneer of comtempt drew a bead on the rapidly disapearing vixen and cubs and fired!!! the Gat leaped in his hand and the signature off the heavily sillenced pistol made a miniscule squeek. Now you wont believe this, and if I had not seen it myself I would say this story is B------S !!! my mate had waited untill the vixen and cubs were all in line before he fired and that .177 dart passed through 5 of the cubs before it stopped due to lack of ballistick energy!!! WOW, What a shot, What a shooter. It was ****g Amazing. :whistling:

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Me and my mate was poaching last night, on J G, land what a dump! nowt about to shoot or even Write home about, everything worth shooting had been shot allready, when suddenly,,, looking down towards the orchard, We noticed a vixen with about 10 cubs in tow , heading for an adjoining field. My mate who is a better shooter than me,(thats easy nowadays) carefully put a fearthered .177 dart into the smooth bored barrel of his Gat airpistol and asked ( in a whisper) how far out they were? I looked through my Busnell rangerfinder and replied, (in a whisper) 180.yards. too far, even for a great shooter like you! (still in whisper mode) my mate ,with a sneer of comtempt drew a bead on the rapidly disapearing vixen and cubs and fired!!! the Gat leaped in his hand and the signature off the heavily sillenced pistol made a miniscule squeek. Now you wont believe this, and if I had not seen it myself I would say this story is B------S !!! my mate had waited untill the vixen and cubs were all in line before he fired and that .177 dart passed through 5 of the cubs before it stopped due to lack of ballistick energy!!! WOW, What a shot, What a shooter. It was ****g Amazing. :whistling:

 

 

I was there, lucky you took the others out with your .177 3ft/lbs crossman rabbit misser, on iron sights at 400yds. Especially in the pouring rain and 30mph cross wind.

 

Great shooting fella, even when that unicorn thought it was getting away.........

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Shaun my mate, wish you were not so modest, I did not say it was you who took out the 5 cubs because we both know you will now be beseiged by nubile young women with pert breasts and hour glass figures waiting outside your house panting in the hope you will impregnate them, remember that time on J G,s land when you took out that 12 pointer stag with that paper clip and rubber band at 600 yards (from the hip!!!) in that terrible snowstorm ? and the trouble you got from being hotter than Robbie Williams with those lovely Irish lassies? thats why I did not say it was you last night with the Gat airpistol!! the way you are going you will soon be bankrupt paying all those maintanance claims from those young girls, or dead from exaustion!! LUCKY SOD> :whistling:

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No one would have believed when he left home all those years ago that he would make such a success of his life. The garages full of Italian sports cars, the glamour model wives and the strings of beautiful mistresses. The race horses, the Lear jet and the palacial homes all over the world, the fame and fortune........... Well he reflected as he took the last swig from the bottle pulled the cardboard closer to keep out the cold and waited for the coughing spasm to subside, they were right.

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Me and my mate was poaching last night, on J G, land what a dump! nowt about to shoot or even Write home about, everything worth shooting had been shot allready, when suddenly,,, looking down towards the orchard, We noticed a vixen with about 10 cubs in tow , heading for an adjoining field. My mate who is a better shooter than me,(thats easy nowadays) carefully put a fearthered .177 dart into the smooth bored barrel of his Gat airpistol and asked ( in a whisper) how far out they were? I looked through my Busnell rangerfinder and replied, (in a whisper) 180.yards. too far, even for a great shooter like you! (still in whisper mode) my mate ,with a sneer of comtempt drew a bead on the rapidly disapearing vixen and cubs and fired!!! the Gat leaped in his hand and the signature off the heavily sillenced pistol made a miniscule squeek. Now you wont believe this, and if I had not seen it myself I would say this story is B------S !!! my mate had waited untill the vixen and cubs were all in line before he fired and that .177 dart passed through 5 of the cubs before it stopped due to lack of ballistick energy!!! WOW, What a shot, What a shooter. It was ****g Amazing. :shifty:

 

 

I was there, lucky you took the others out with your .177 3ft/lbs crossman rabbit misser, on iron sights at 400yds. Especially in the pouring rain and 30mph cross wind.

 

Great shooting fella, even when that unicorn thought it was getting away.........

Shaun, youve done it now, I now have coach loads of old women being dropped off outside my house some are from the save the unicorn appreciation society, others from the league of cruel sports, I dont think any of them want me to make them pregnant, I have not had one pair of outsize bloomers thrown in my direction since the coaches dropped them off, indeed some of these old biddies have asked to use my outside loo, and others if they can come in and make tea and sandwiches for themselselves and other protesters, I am looking now (With dread I should confess) at another group who are setting up tents made of plastic bin liners and Tesco bags on my front lawn!! Aaahg when will this all end :unsure: I ask myself, OOOH S__T here comes the wifes bus //////// Shaun !! Help. :whistling:

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Ok ok, the protests that I've tricked some (Lefty :shifty: ) to get them in here haven't escaped my attention. Just to show I'm not all that bad I have indeed come up with some naked ladies, five of them infact! So some of ye may need to share....

 

Bare naked ladies :unsure: :yahoo:

BareNakedLadies.jpg

 

Keep the stories coming :whistling:

 

Mungler I wouldn't have believed that story one bit only for I'd heard it from yourself!!

J G have you been drinking more than meself??? where has Mungler replied to your drunken ramblings??? on this thread? ar your drunk ,your drunk ,you silly old fool ,can you not see? thats a little old babies head your mothers sent to me. In fact those pics you have sent in of 5 ladies is getting us all worried!! In fact due to your confusion re, naked ladies and the pictures you have sent we must all now be wondering if those stories , and tales of your fox shooting can be believed?? I hope there is not a lot of reports of sheep, dogs, cats going missing in your county can be linked to youself?? :angry:

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