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This took my fancy -

 

Pulling a Boner

2008 Darwin Award Nominee

Confirmed True by Darwin

 

 

 

 

 

(2 February 2008, New York) A 50-year-old man was bird hunting in Upstate New York with his buddies and his faithful canine companion. They stopped for a smoke, and he noticed that his dog had found a bone. It was a deer leg! The man tried to take the bone away from the dog. Like any right thinking dog, the animal would not relinquish its treasure, and stayed just out of reach.

Frustrated with this blatant show of disobedience, the man grabbed his loaded shotgun by the muzzle and began wielding it like a club. Each time he swung it, the dog dodged. Suddenly the "club" struck the ground and fired, shooting the man in the abdomen. His friends called 911 and he was airlifted to a nearby hospital, where he died from his injuries.

 

He did remain conscious long enough to confirm this account to police; otherwise, his poor friends might now be under suspicion of murder.

 

At least he didn't hit the dog!

 

 

:blush::lol:

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Gun Safety Training

2000 Darwin Award Runner-Up

Confirmed True by Darwin

(28 February 2000, Texas) A Houston man earned a succinct lesson in gun safety when he played Russian roulette with a .45-caliber semiautomatic pistol. Rashaad, nineteen, was visiting friends when he announced his intention to play the deadly game. He apparently did not realize that a semiautomatic pistol, unlike a revolver, automatically inserts a cartridge into the firing chamber when the gun is cocked. His chance of winning a round of Russian roulette was zero, as he quickly discovered.

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Concealed Weapon

2000 Honorable Mention

Confirmed True by Darwin

 

 

 

 

 

(27 February 2000, Colombia) A woman tried to smuggle an automatic pistol into a high-security prison in Bogota by concealing it in her rectum. Unfortunately, she was unable to remove the weapon from its snug hiding place. In great distress and needing medical attention, Tirsa told wardens at La Picota prison that she was pregnant, and was rushed to a nearby hospital. Prison visitors sometimes smuggle drugs and liquor to inmates, but rarely do they cram automatic weapons into their private places. After three days of hospitalization, she confessed the real reason for her pain to hospital staff, and surgeons removed the 7.65mm pistol on Wednesday. Tirsa was charged with illegal weapons possession.

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Wounded Wire Bites Back

2002 Darwin Award Nominee

Confirmed True by Darwin

 

 

 

(14 February 2002, Pennsylvania) Daniel and his friend were practicing their marksmanship by shooting at targets in a farm field. But instead of the usual choices of mice, bottles, or birds, they selected a more worthy adversary: electrical insulators.

These pear-shaped glass or plastic devices are intended to hold electrical wires aloft. But after the men shot six insulators off two utility poles, the shattered targets were no longer up to the job. A high-voltage wire fell to the ground and Daniel, attempting to prevent a serious fire, seized the sizzling wire in his hand, and was electrocuted.

 

An Allegheny Power spokesman advised people not to shoot at electrical insulators.

 

 

 

 

Scary, there are (or in these cases, were) a lot of them out there!

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Sorry, still trying to stop my eyes watering after thinking about _how_ you could hide a pistol, even a small one, in your ****.

 

Dear christ... I'm not going to be able to have a **** for weeks now...

 

Better not try too hard to hold it in, you might shot yourself... :blush:

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