Joke

[Fisherman Mike]

Two canibals were walking through the jungle when one of them suddenly had terrible stomach cramps. "Whats up said his mate?"

 

"I badly need a ****" said the canibal and dropped his loin cloth and started to squat.

 

"Dont do it here" said the other "you dirty sod, go and hack out a clearing and do it there. Ill wait here for you but dont be long"

 

So the canibal hacked hs way through the thicket and found a clearing and sqatted down and did the business.

 

The other chap waited and waited for what seemed like hours and in the end he got so worried he went to look for his mate.

 

After a short walk through the over grown bush he came to the clearing and the canibal was stood there with his head in his hands sobbing uncontrolably, next to a steaming pile of fresh ****.

 

"Whats up" said his mate

 

"Ive just DUMPED my girlfriend" said the canibal..

[dazza]

The Lone Ranger and his American-Indian friend Tonto come up to a small town after days of walking. The night is cold and they are both thirsty, so they decide to go have a drink at the local bar.

 

A sign on the door of the bar reads “NO INDIANS.”

 

The Lone Ranger says, to Tonto, “Sorry friend, but you will have to wait outside. Run around so you won't get cold.” So Tonto nods his head in approval, and begins to jog around the establishment.

 

After about an hour and six whiskeys later, the Sheriff comes in to the salloon, strolls over to The Lone Ranger and says, “I've come to tell you that you've left your ‘Injun’ running outside!”

[BTMS]

[dazza]

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

[Big Angus]

:yp: Excellent Dazza. The wife and her mate had a good laugh at that one.

[digger]

the lone ranger and tonto are riding through the vastness of the american plains when tonto leaps from his horse.

he presses his ear to the dust,listens for a moment,then announces "buffalo come"

amazed at his skill,the lone ranger asks "how do you know this ?"

"easy"says tonto"ear stuck to ground"

[dazza]

:yp:

[jt86]

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have

dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the

girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would

like to go out and make love for the first time.

 

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so

he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The

pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy

everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

 

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms

he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy

insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather

busy, it being his first time and all.

 

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and

meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to

meet my parents, come on in!"

 

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the

girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace

and bows his head.

 

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his

head down.

 

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

 

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend

leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you

were this religious."

 

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was

a pharmacist."