Highlander Posted February 10, 2006 Report Share Posted February 10, 2006 Thought with all the talk on here recently about speeding fines etc etc this was somewhat topical... While I was driving down the road the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see traffic cop on the other side with a radar gun lying in wait. The traffic cop pulled me over and, with a swagger in his walk (they all have it), came up to my car with that classic patronizing smirk we all know about and asked, "What's your hurry?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a "Rectum Stretcher", I responded. The traffic cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the traffic cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot ####?" wait for it... wait for it... To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." Traffic ticket: £250.00 Court costs: £245.00 Look on cop's face: ******* Priceless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Browning GTS Posted February 10, 2006 Report Share Posted February 10, 2006 Heard it before but still Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bindi Posted February 10, 2006 Report Share Posted February 10, 2006 I might just use that in my court case (see related thread on unmarked police cars) Bindi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnskevena Posted February 10, 2006 Report Share Posted February 10, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirky640 Posted February 10, 2006 Report Share Posted February 10, 2006 funnyest thing i heard all day great B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash Posted February 10, 2006 Report Share Posted February 10, 2006 brightened my day flash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ELMOR FUDD Posted February 10, 2006 Report Share Posted February 10, 2006 great stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted February 11, 2006 Report Share Posted February 11, 2006 LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darebear Posted February 11, 2006 Report Share Posted February 11, 2006 class in a glass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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