Joke

[Browning GTS]

A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia, walks into a small

village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.

 

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Aussie

"G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"

 

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi"

 

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

 

Dog: "Doin' all right."

 

Aussie: (look of extreme shock)

 

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the

villager)

 

Dog: "Yep"

 

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

 

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and

takes me to the lake once a week to play."

 

Aussie: (look of utter disbelief)

 

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

 

Aussie: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

 

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

 

Horse: "Cool"

 

Aussie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

 

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

 

Horse: "Yep"

 

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

 

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,

brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from

the elements."

 

Aussie: (total look of amazement)

 

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

 

Aussie: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view

>was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.

>

>

>"Y'ken," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why, in

>Glasgow there's a wee bar called MacTavish's. Now, the landlord there

>goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks,

>he will buy the 5th drink for you."

>

>

>"Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, The Red Lion, the barman

>there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first two."

>

>"Ahhh, that's nuttin," said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's

>O'Driscoll's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy

>you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've

>had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid.

>All on the house."

>

>"Really?" said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"

>

>

>"Not me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman, "but it did happen

>to me sister"

>

[tagwag]

:yp: :yp: :( :(

[dazza]

[hawkeye]

[Topgunners]

 

Dave K

[Slipster]

[killer rabbit (r1000)]

:yp: :yp:

[bertie]

:yp: :yp: :(

[P03]

and :yp:

P03