Poacher Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?" "No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters lying on their beds. "Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to **** ya both." "**** off you liar!". "I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?" "Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nildes Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 >WHY PARENTS DRINK > > > >A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not > >phoned in sick one day. > > > >Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed > >the employee's' home phone number and was greeted with a child's' > >whisper. > > > >"Hello?" > > > >"Is your daddy home?" he asked. > > > >"Yes," whispered the small voice. > > > >May I talk with him?" > > > >The child whispered, "No," > > > >Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is > >your Mommy there?" > > > >"Yes," > > > >"May I talk with her?" > > > >Again the small voice whispered, "No," > > > >Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the > >boss asked, > > > >"Is anybody else there?" > > > >"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman". > > > >Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the > >boss asked, > > > >"May I speak with the policeman?" > > > >"No, he's busy" whispered the child. > > > >"Busy doing what?" > > > >"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered > >answer. > > > >Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background > >through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, > > > >"What is that noise?" > > > >"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice. > > > >"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. > > > >Again, whispering, the child answered, > > > >"The search team just landed a helicopter," > > > >Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, > > > >"What are they searching for?" > > > > > >Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... > > > >"ME" > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?" "No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters lying on their beds. "Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to **** ya both." "**** off you liar!". "I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?" "Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?" ROTFLMFAO LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?" "No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters lying on their beds. "Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to **** ya both." "**** off you liar!". "I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?" "Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?" This is RACIST! It should be deleted IMMEDIATLY. Unless there is one rule for one ............................ Only joking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '65." "This is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '65, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?," he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 Stop it you lot. There are young children looking at this site and you lot mocking the Irish does not look look at all good. Next thing you will be laying into the porridge wogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry d Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 Next thing you will be laying into the porridge wogs. Or the south coast fudge packers ! :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnGalway Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again. :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted November 17, 2006 Report Share Posted November 17, 2006 Next thing you will be laying into the porridge wogs. Or the south coast fudge packers ! :blink: I consider that a sweeping generalisation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry d Posted November 17, 2006 Report Share Posted November 17, 2006 Next thing you will be laying into the porridge wogs. Or the south coast fudge packers ! I consider that a sweeping generalisation! Axe told me all about Brighton :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted November 17, 2006 Report Share Posted November 17, 2006 I live 13 mile North of Brighton. Believe me that is a BIG 13 miles Last time I was in Brighton I dropped my wallet. I had to kick it all the way home. :blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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