anser2 Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 At the risk of lowering the tone of this forum I thought some wouldlike to share something someone sent me on facebook today. A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon she had fond on the marsh. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, has been suffering from a overdose of no 4 shot and has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?""Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with his gundog , a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked onin amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat satback on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loriusgarrulus Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 Already put that one in the jokes section. It is funny though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 Classic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayano3 Posted September 18, 2014 Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 (edited) Good one Anser2 I had a real funny experience second week into the season. I was with a friend of mine on the marsh who only joined our club at the back end of last season (after asking for a bit of help on here). I'm pleased I responded to his request now! Well we were sat close by each other as he likes the reassurance that his quarry ID is accurate as the last thing he would want to do is find he has shot (or attempted to shoot) something that is not on the quarry list. I spotted about 8 mallard heading in our direction so I alerted him that he may well get a shot. As they approached two split off the pack and I followed these as it looked as if the others were going to present a better shot that the larger pack. I never intended shooting any of these as I know he had never taken a duck off the marsh. I waited patiently for the shot and watched the two duck so if he hit them I could mark them for the dog to pick. He took the shot....nothing! That's what I thought, but he jumped up and said 'got one, got one'. He had not seen the two but had the others. Before I could turn around he had placed his gun safely and started running. Yes running! I think he was faster than any dog I had see on the marsh, even quicker that those that run in. He was still running about 25 yards away but all of a sudden disappeared, all I could see was one leg slightly stuck up above the green marsh. Yes he found a creek. I though **** this is going to be a disaster. But he surfaced to get back on his feet and continue his sprint. Finally he found his prize. I did offer to send the dog but he was too busy retrieving his duck to take any notice. He didn't run back but he come back like a lottery winner with his cheque. I was still laughing about watching this figure running like Linford Christie and disappearing like he did as he got back to where we were sat. He had got his first duck! He did admit he had hurt his leg but the duck was more important. I must say its one of the funniest things I have ever seen on the marsh in over 30 years. Edited September 18, 2014 by ayano3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent Posted September 19, 2014 Report Share Posted September 19, 2014 init good too see someone so exited all at the same time though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harrycatcat1 Posted September 19, 2014 Report Share Posted September 19, 2014 Good one Anser2 I had a real funny experience second week into the season. I was with a friend of mine on the marsh who only joined our club at the back end of last season (after asking for a bit of help on here). I'm pleased I responded to his request now! Well we were sat close by each other as he likes the reassurance that his quarry ID is accurate as the last thing he would want to do is find he has shot (or attempted to shoot) something that is not on the quarry list. I spotted about 8 mallard heading in our direction so I alerted him that he may well get a shot. As they approached two split off the pack and I followed these as it looked as if the others were going to present a better shot that the larger pack. I never intended shooting any of these as I know he had never taken a duck off the marsh. I waited patiently for the shot and watched the two duck so if he hit them I could mark them for the dog to pick. He took the shot....nothing! That's what I thought, but he jumped up and said 'got one, got one'. He had not seen the two but had the others. Before I could turn around he had placed his gun safely and started running. Yes running! I think he was faster than any dog I had see on the marsh, even quicker that those that run in. He was still running about 25 yards away but all of a sudden disappeared, all I could see was one leg slightly stuck up above the green marsh. Yes he found a creek. I though **** this is going to be a disaster. But he surfaced to get back on his feet and continue his sprint. Finally he found his prize. I did offer to send the dog but he was too busy retrieving his duck to take any notice. He didn't run back but he come back like a lottery winner with his cheque. I was still laughing about watching this figure running like Linford Christie and disappearing like he did as he got back to where we were sat. He had got his first duck! He did admit he had hurt his leg but the duck was more important. I must say its one of the funniest things I have ever seen on the marsh in over 30 years. I thought you told Dale you wouldnt tell anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayano3 Posted September 19, 2014 Report Share Posted September 19, 2014 Sure is. He will be good as he's dedicated and a more than willing learner. Cheeky **** calls me David Attenborough. Dale told me to keep quiet about him trapped on the marsh init good too see someone so exited all at the same time though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith 66 Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 Funniest thing i ever saw on the marsh was back in 82? we had had a heavy snowfall & it was blowing hard easterly. My Dad & i went down Benfleet creek to the old sally army jetty for morning flight, always a good place for duck in a freeze up as the sluice there always ran fresh water. On the way back we had just crossed the railway line in the middle of the marsh when the old man gets caught short. "Have you got any toilet paper?" he asks, I handed him a roll of something from my pocket & he handed me his gun & with some speed he hopped off across the frozen waste towards the woods some 400 yards distant. By the time he got there he was mincing along like an old queen & obviously in some distress. Shortly after he made the cover of the woods i heard a roar of rage & when i caught up a while later found the reason was i had given him a roll of 40 grit sandpaper. He was not best pleased. I however found this hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdsallpl Posted September 23, 2014 Report Share Posted September 23, 2014 It's fantastic to see the enthusiasm in people just starting out, Being out on the marsh is all enjoyment and if someone or something makes you laugh it is even more memorable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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