Teal Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skilfully mounts the Horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace. Victoria admiringly watches her husband. After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop. Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband, David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck. David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!!!! Hearing her screams, the Tesco's Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisherman Mike Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 Nice one. Victoria and David are sat at Home watching the news on TV when coverage appears of a suicide attempt... a man has climbed to the top of a 30 storey Tower Block and is threatening to jump. "I bet you a Grand he jumps" says Victoria... "I bet you a Grand he doesnt" says David... "Ok your on." The Man does eventually jump to his death and David hands over his Grand to Victoria.. "I cant take this said Victoria, I cheated you I must admit it I saw it earlier on TV." "Yeah, So did I" said David, "but I didnt think he would do it twice." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brain dead Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 tis a good one, but im sure we've had it before, or maybe just i heard it somewhere else Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisherman Mike Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 Yes, Probably BD but I wanted to continue the theme Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crowstopper Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharp_shooter Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 David walks into a store similar to comet wanting a new dishwasher. The shop assistent takes him over to the dishwashers and David picks the top spec. one and says that that's the he wants. When paying for it at the counter a thermos flask catches his eye and he says "what's that, it looks usefull?" the shop keeper explained what it was and told him it keeps your hot things hot and your cold things cold. David buys two. He shows them to Posh and she said "What's that?" David explained that it kept your hot things hot and cold things cold. She asked to have one and he agreed. The next day at training he shows Sir Alex Fergusson(sp?) and explains that it keeps hot thing hot and cold things cold. Alex then asks what he has in it and David replies "Coffee and two choc ices." You probably heard it before but continueing on the theme. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teal Posted July 6, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 Apparently this is true: When asked about Wayne Rooney's feelings after losing the youngest goalscorer in European Championship history record to that Swiss player he said: "Wayne is obviously dissappointed at losing his record, but it will make him even more determined to win it back" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza Posted July 6, 2004 Report Share Posted July 6, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisherman Mike Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 Bless Him. He really is as thick as a Dockers wage packet. Apparently before his first game at Real The Manager said he would Pull him off at half time... To which David replied " Oh thats great... we only get oranges at Old Trafford" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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