Cranfield Posted March 25, 2004 Report Share Posted March 25, 2004 A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends £5000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a Newsagents to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the Assistant, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" --- "About 32," is the reply. "I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47." Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a Bakers on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get a loaf of bread and asks the Assistant the question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you." While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra, then I can tell you exactly how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay, how old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 47." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?" The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?" "I won't get mad", she says. He replies, "I was behind you in the line at McDonald's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deadeyedick Posted March 25, 2004 Report Share Posted March 25, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTMS Posted March 26, 2004 Report Share Posted March 26, 2004 Man in pub to his mate "I have just found out my Wife has |Old Dysons disease" "Thats sad" said his mate "Yeah she makes a continuos whinening noise and doesnt suck anymore" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ollie Posted March 26, 2004 Report Share Posted March 26, 2004 very good btms Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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