Badgers

[palombier]

On the subject of badgers hear is a great if rather harrowing poem by the celebrated natural history poet John Clare. Anybody who has not come across this poet would do well to read some of his fantastic work.

WHEN midnight comes a host of dogs and men

Go out and track the badger to his den,

And put a sack within the hole and lie

Till the old grunting badger passes by.

He comes and hears - they let the strongest loose.

The old fox hears the noise and drops the goose.

The poacher shoots and hurries from the cry,

And the old hare half wounded buzzes by.

They get a forkéd stick to bear him down

And clap the dogs and take him to the town,

And bait him all the day with many dogs,

And laugh and shout and fright the scampering hogs.

He runs along and bites at all he meets:

They shout and hollo down the noisy streets.

He turns about to face the loud uproar

And drives the rebels to their very door.

The frequent stone is hurled wher'er they go;

When badgers fight, then everyone's a foe.

The dogs are clapped and urged to join the fray;

The badger turns and drives them all away.

Though scarcely half as big, demure and small,

He fights with dogs for hours and beats them all.

The heavy mastiff, savage in the fray,

Lies down and licks his feet and turns away.

The bulldog knows his match and waxes cold

The badger grins and never leaves his hold.

He drives the crowd and follows at their heels

And bites them through - the drunkard swears and reels.

The frighted women take the boys away,

The blackguard laughs and hurries on the fray.

He tries to reach the woods, an awkward race,

But sticks and cudgels quickly stop the chase.

He turns again and drives the noisy crowd

And beats the many dogs in noises loud.

He drives away and beats them every one,

And then they loose them all and set them on.

He falls as dead and kicked by boys and men,

Then starts and grins and drives the crowd again;

Till kicked and torn and beaten out he lies

And leaves his hold and cackles, groans and dies.

 

P

[PC Futrett]

If Badgers are protected shouldn't a government official be standing beside them? Just think thinning out two types of vermin with one shot. Now thats what I call conservation.

[Yorkshire Pudding]

Go an find the sett . Then tell as many folks where the sett is , somebody will take the law into there own hands an sort the problem out for ya .

 

all the best yis yp

[jimdfish]

As badgers are very short sighted I found the best wayto get rid of them was to go to your local sweet shop and by 2 and 3/4 pounds of everton mints ( about 100 in total ). During the day while ol broc is asleep set the mints up in the classic panzer movement as deployed so devastingly during the german invasion of mainland europe. When he arises from his slumber and leaves the sett he believes he is under attack and flees. You have to be careful though that he does not set up an underground resistance movement. For added effect suspend any left over confectionery by fine fishing line to nearby trees to complete the illusion

jimDfish

[Teal]

Best laugh I've had all week, cheers jim!

[lurcherboy]

@jimdfish. Was that carrot inspired?

 

 

LB

[jimdfish]

Lets not get into my alternative method of smoking badgers out now. V.Humane but costs a fortune in munchies.

jimDfish