thank you

[Topgunners]

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........

 

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat **** in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

 

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

 

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

 

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program .....

 

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split $7million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

 

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

 

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

 

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

 

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

 

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

 

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

 

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

 

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

 

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

 

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large PIGEON with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

 

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

 

 

Thank you

 

 

 

Dave K

[trakker01]

exelllent , so im not the only one !! rotflmao

[Cranfield]

Excellent, I have sent that on to seven of my friends. :lol:

[lurcherboy]

Dave you need to get back to work soon bruv

 

 

 

LB

[codling99]

[darebear]

[Topgunners]

Dave you need to get back to work soon bruv

 

 

 

LB

 

 

:lol:

 

Ha; it might have turned me a bit mad but 14 weeks sat at home

 

.The internet was a godsend really.

 

If I hadn't had it, I WOULD have gone mad.

 

 

Hence my nickname (MADHATTER1)

 

And you can't tell me you haven't had at least 1 of those e-mails.

 

 

Dave K

 

 

p.s if you haven't, I WILL send you loads.( how many you want?)

Edited January 5, 2008 by Topgunners