What do you do

[Cosd]

Suzy, I'm sorry to hear what's happening to your lad; It's painful for him and for the parents as well.

 

My little girl went through this and it was a real hard time for all of us. Mine went through it for months before she broke down and blurted it out one night over the dinner table.

 

I know what my heart told me to do, but my head said this was a delicate situation which could backfire not just on me but more importantly on my little girl.

 

She didn't want us to get involved as she thought the situation would get worse.

 

Without telling my daughter I went to the school and spoke to her teacher, told her the situation and explained that my daughter didn't want to "snitch".

 

Cut a long story short, my daughter came home two days later and said that the children were called into assembly and bullying was the subject. The head spoke about the zero tollerence for bullying, asked any children to step forward whether they were being bullied, knew of any bullying or even to knew the bullies themselves. This was explained that all would be confidential and that bullies would be found out. No names were mentioned, but the culprits then new that the whole school were now against them, and though the bullied children might not snitch, that they could/would be grassed up by absolutely anyone.

 

That was the last time this girl bullied my little girl. Till this day she is not aware I spoke to her teachers...Lets hope she ain't a member of the forum

 

Both my girls now, have been doing Martial arts for the last 5 years (they are now 11 and 12), they are more confident in themselves and I feel better knowing that.

 

Good luck sorting it out.

[myzeneye]

sorry to hear bout your woes.... bullying is a terrible thing, and if not dealt with sharpish, becomes a chain of bullying....usually, the bullied child will makes waves and take out their own frustrations on some other weaker kid....this is usually why the head bully is the way he is.. he's probably a fair way down the pecking order himself...

 

i had problems as a child, some real fear issues.... one day, the horrible ******, ****** on me in the toilets.... as often happens, i lost it.... went beserk on the lad and he ended up in hospital... it all ended that day... there wern't many others in the school who tried it on after that day either.... i got suspended as a matter of course, but the teachers and head knew the lad was trouble and about the bullying and i got off lightly..... he got a fractured cheekbone, broken nose and lost a few teeth... i had to pay for the basin i broke his face with. it was a pretty rough school to say the least....

 

the main issue is, he has to deal with it, big bro wont be around all the time, and the bully will take revenge on him in retaliation to a big brother bashing.... send him to a boxing club, karate etc for confidence... if he wants to that is.... failing that, get sweepy to teach him a few tricks.... a small item clenched in the fist will make it hit as hard as a brick, dont hit someone in the head, youl hurt you hand, go for the squidgey bits like the plums,throat,nose and a knock on the jaw will down an elephant...

it sounds a bit ott... but it will probably be a one off incident once other kids see he's not to be messed with...

in school, i was thought of as a pretty hard kid, but in reality, i was only ever involved in no more than say 2-3 good punch ups.... you just have to make them count !!

 

i cant believe this is the advice im offering, i know its wrong, but lifes tough for young lads.... if he doesnt do something, there'l always be a problem... i see it going on to this day at work in many shapes and forms....

 

incidentally, my bully was last seen selling the big issue, drinking methadone and looking rough.... he crapped his pants when he saw me last.....

[Ferret Master]

Right, most secondary schools if not all will have a 'zero tolerance' policy on bullying. Full stop.

 

As a result if people are seen fighting in uniform smoking outside the gates in uniform etc. then things happen.

 

I've never been bullied myself but when we were 14 year old year 9's I stood up for a mate who had just told some yr11 lads where to get off who were laughing at me after I got hit in the eye with a tennis ball (it hospitalised me). Anyway my friend called one of these lads 'gay'. They proceeded to floor him and start kicking him while he was lying on his back. By this point I had regained my vision and went over to assist in the proceedings. At which point the shoeing ceased on my friend, he however didn't know where to stop and while he was lying in a heap he managed to blurt out the words 'You're still gay!' Fortunately this had the desirable effect of drawing the attention of some of the older lads away from me onto my friend again however I still got thrown up against a pig mesh fence but escaped few a few bruises and grazes. A few minutes later I was lining up for assembley and my tutor asked what the hell had happened as my pupil had shrunk to the size of a pin head from the tennis ball impact and I looked like I had gone through a hedge backwards. I was sent to reception who sent me straight to hospital. While in the car park of the hospital my Mum recieved a phone call from the school saying they had heard an incident had occured and could I please go to my year head first thing the following morning. This was done and me and my mate had to sign a statement saying what had happened and were then sent back to lessons. On the way back to the lesson we saw the two lads who were the main culprits get pulled out of their lessons and marched to the deputy head of school's office. We also had to speak to a learning support member of staff later that day about what had happened...

 

My Mum recieved a phone call later than afternoon informing her that the culprits had left the deputy head of school's office white as a sheet and shaking like a leaf. They were also internally excluded for the rest of the week in school.

 

So what I'm saying is that the chances are that if the school hear about this then something will be done as it creates a bad image for the school which they don't want in the wider community. But by all accounts if that doesn't work getting Little Sweepy to try putting the bullies face through the bus window could be effective.

 

 

FM

Edited September 11, 2008 by Ferret Master

[Mrs Sweepy]

Well the boys arrived home at 3.30.

I was half expecting the sad little boy who left the house that morning.

But was met by the smiling 11 year old. Who told me to shut my eyes and hold my hands out as he had something for me.

Being the fool that i am .I did as i was told only to be turned into the coat stand . Much to the amusement of both boys.

 

When i manage to get Little Sweepy on his own i ask him how his little brother had been today.

His comment was dont worry mum its all settle.I knew i would not get anymore out of him so i left it.

 

Later when i was in the kitchen doing tea.Tom came in and sat at the table to do his homework.

So i asked him the same question . To which i got the same answer

So now i sit here wondering if some poor child had to be remove or taken down from the bus stop sign.

And should i even answer the phone tomorrow.

 

Tom seems alot happier tonight. He even told me that he was able to swap some of my homemade cake for sweets today.(i feel the lawsuit coming my way).

So hopfully it is all sorted. Like the boys say.

Time will tell and i will still be keeping a watchful eye out for signs .

Thanks everyone for your help.

And thank you to everyone who pm me . For reassurance it was nice to know i was not alone.

xxxxsuzy

[Kay]

Suzie i had a simmilar issue to deal with , my eldest son now 21 was being picked on by some other lads, he was coming home & being very agresive to me , basically frustration i suppose, he hit me a few times but i rather he did that than take it out on other kids or his younger brother.

 

I basically involved the police in the end as the school couldnt do a great deal as it was after school

[lurcherboy]

So little sweepy gave him a beating, excellent

 

 

 

 

 

LB

[myzeneye]

they'll sort it out them selves.... the usual way mate....

id love to believe in the comments about schools taking control and zero tolerance etc... and im sure, when they can, with the type of pupils who will respond in a co-operative way to that kind of discipline, they do..... however, kids can be nasty, devious, spitefull, cruel, manipulative blah blah blah.... unless the "victim" takes a stand, the issue of domminance will continue, whether it be physical harm, threats or cruel **** taking.... in school, out of school.... or the worst, waiting outside your house...

id say someones had words with the boy though....

thumbs up to your lad.....

Edited September 11, 2008 by myzeneye

[jonno 357]

There's always a pecking order at school even in the work place( especially an male work place of factory). It makes you or breaks you at school and builds character

 

Our PE teacher (http://www.hipperholmegrammar.org.uk/) encouraged bullying of the weak and pathetic kids in sports and especially rugby. As a budding star of rugby I was encourage by the PE teacher at rugby to hit the weaklings, he'd stand on the touch line wetting himself whilst some kid was layed on his back winded and gasping for oxygen

 

 

 

Jonno

[rabbithunter2008]

Glad it's sorted out

[blacta]

older brother threats........

[peter-peter]

the best solution in my eyes

get his bro on the same bus a few seats away, and tell the lad to belt this kid as hard as he can on the snout,

it will solve the problem and do him good in the years to come.

I doubt he will bully him again. bullies are born cowards,

I did this with one of mine and it worked, the lad in question was 2 years older than mine,

He didnt come back for a second helping. bust noses hurt.