Axe Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref. One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?' Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!' So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'. Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End. Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'. Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself pal, but it's your look out if you stay'. So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella. Happy Chavmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tenbears10 Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dibbz2000 Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Nice 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BountyHunter Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Browning GTS Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Very good innit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pavman Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Fantastic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJaxeman Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 proper good stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferret Master Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 blingin' or summat or nufan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
william Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 fackin laveley geeza Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old rooster Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Am I bovvered ?, do I look bovvered to you ? Well I ain't bovvered see !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zapp Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 You forgot to mention the bit where this pilot geezer sprung some teef called Barraccas and brung it large to Jesus instead cos he werent enuff bizzle. No, hang on, thats Chav easter.... Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old rooster Posted December 18, 2005 Report Share Posted December 18, 2005 Oi mate ! I ope you ain't gettin your chav festivities mixed up an all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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