white fox Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Understanding Engineers- Take One Two engineering students were cycling across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike? The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it on the ground, took off her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you ." Understanding Engineers-Take Two To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers- Take Three A priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We've been waiting 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golfers!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper, let's ask him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with the group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" Understanding Engineers- Take Four What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechs build weapons and civs build targets. Understanding Engineers- Take Five The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" Understanding Engineers- Take Six Four engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer, just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The third said, "It was obviousl y a chemical engineer, just think about all the reactions taking place each second in the body." The last one said, "You're all wrong, it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" Understanding Engineers- Take Seven Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. Understanding Engineers- Take Eight An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, exasperated the frog asked, "What is the matter with you? I've told you that I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's different." WF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferret Master Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poacher Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 I'm studying engineering at the moment, sadly it rings very true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
webber Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Most entertaining, and very apt. webber Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mordeeb Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 anymore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 Nice one WF LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mickymiroku Posted May 6, 2006 Report Share Posted May 6, 2006 "!why cant they play at night" briliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devilishdave Posted May 7, 2006 Report Share Posted May 7, 2006 good one Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave-G Posted May 7, 2006 Report Share Posted May 7, 2006 Where's the frog at? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darebear Posted May 8, 2006 Report Share Posted May 8, 2006 :blink: fanflippinfastic. im still smiling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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