lurcherboy Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 An Irishwoman of advanced age visited her physician to ask His help In reviving her Husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor. "Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin". "Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra. Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went". It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid. Just terrible, doctor!". "Really? What happened" asked the doctor? "Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate! He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!" "Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good"? "Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed! 'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again." LB A husband comes home and says to his wife" we've tried 69 lets try 68" She says, "What's that?" He says, " you blow me and I'll owe you one." LB "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. LB Four guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator. While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation. The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E. , you know... ''Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.'' The second guy says, "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know... ''Double Income, No Kids Yet. " The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know... ''Rich, Urban, Biker. " The fourth guy says, I am a D.I.L.D.O., you know... ''Double Income, Little Dog Owner.'' They turn to the woman and ask her. ''What are you?'' She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you know... Wash, Iron, ****, Etc.'' LB A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one hell of a hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already. I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!" The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain." So the dentist ask him, "Which tooth is it sir?" The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him." LB A guy sees his best friend on the street. The friend is wearing a flamboyant outfit. Lime colored trousers, a puff sleeved, lavender shirt, a puce ascot, etc. So he asks his friend, "what in the world is wrong with you?" "Oh, my wife," the friend replies. "Your wife?" queries the first guy. "Yea. I saw an ad in the paper for Cox's Men's Store. They were having a great sale on seersucker suits. So I told her, go to Cox's and buy me one of those seersucker suits. So what does she do? She goes to Sears and buys me cocksucker suit." LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranfield Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 Whats the name of this bloke that comes round your Garage every day, telling you these jokes ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted July 29, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 Whats the name of this bloke that comes round your Garage every day, telling you these jokes ? If I tell you that Cranfield I would have to kill you and it may spoil my FAC application LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axe Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Whats the name of this bloke that comes round your Garage every day, telling you these jokes ? If I tell you that Cranfield I would have to kill you and it may spoil my FAC application LB How's that going by the way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darebear Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dunganick Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Whats the name of this bloke that comes round your Garage every day, telling you these jokes ? If I tell you that Cranfield I would have to kill you and it may spoil my FAC application LB How's that going by the way? good before he had to kill Cranfield Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted July 31, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Whats the name of this bloke that comes round your Garage every day, telling you these jokes ? If I tell you that Cranfield I would have to kill you and it may spoil my FAC application LB How's that going by the way? good before he had to kill Cranfield I can't release the joke source chaps. Its in and I am waiting Axe, and waiting, and waiting etc. LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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