Cyber Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford : Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... And watched what happened. 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again." And last, but not least: 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here." Yours sincerely, Charles Brown, Store Manager Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevethevanman Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 ok at this point I an going to go with skhitzophrenic or manicly deppressed person, What amazed me was after the first offences why they did not ban him from the store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr W Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Think it might not be real Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyber Posted February 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 LOL, no i wouldn't have thought so but none the less, very funny hehehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete k Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 a long time ago i was a security guard and you would be surprised what people would get away with , i bet they were watching him all the time and betting on what he would do next , not that i have done such a thing pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyber Posted February 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 hahaha!!! I would love to do half the stuff on there just for the laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevethevanman Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Hey pete k have you ever seen someone try to get away with something stpid like sticking cd's and **** down there pants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markbivvy Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 ok at this point I an going to go with skhitzophrenic or manicly deppressed person, What amazed me was after the first offences why they did not ban him from the store. words fail me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 ok at this point I an going to go with skhitzophrenic or manicly deppressed person, What amazed me was after the first offences why they did not ban him from the store. words fail me. Thats hard to believe you speechless NEVER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markbivvy Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Thats hard to believe you speechless NEVER 60,60, 60,60,60,60, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 words fail me. Thats unusual, sore throat then? or have you cut your keyboard finger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markbivvy Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 words fail me. Thats unusual, sore throat then? or have you cut your keyboard finger nearly cutting my throat with some of these threads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Geordie Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford : Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... And watched what happened. 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again." And last, but not least: 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here." Yours sincerely, Charles Brown, Store Manager Well of COURSE there was no toilet paper left! They had to use it to wipe up the tomato sauce LG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magman Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 words fail me. Thats unusual, sore throat then? or have you cut your keyboard finger nearly cutting my throat with some of these threads. if you need any help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markbivvy Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 if you need any help your a wag. hope your land fails the inspection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Thats hard to believe you speechless NEVER 60,60, 60,60,60,60, sod off, sod off, sod off, sod off, sod off, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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