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Dave knows everyone!


Axe
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Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

 

Tired of his boasting, his boss decides to call his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?" "No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood, knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"

 

Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, you just name anyone else," Dave says.

 

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave say's, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington." At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, "Dave, what a great surprise, I was just heading to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in first and let's catch up."

 

The boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.

 

"The Pope," the boss replies. "Sure!" says Dave. "I've known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican's St. Peter's Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

 

He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony and waves, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

 

Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened boss?"

 

His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw ..... you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the hell is that on the balcony with Dave?"

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