How do you cope?

[reddan]

I lost my lad in september to a rare blood infection. We rushed him to the emergency vets as soon as we knew something was up. He died the next morning aged 2 years 2 months.

 

I am 23 and he was my first dog. The reason we decided to get a dog when we did was because I had a shoulder operation that meant I had to have 8 months off work. The first 6 months of his life was spent by my side. He was my best mate and loyal companion. I travel a lot with work and whenever I was away he would follow my girlfriend around the house and lie at her feet and would refuse to leaver her alone until I got home.

 

He wasn't much of a gundog (should have listened when everyone said dont get a chocolate lab!) But in my eyes he was the best dog in the world. Im fighting back the tears now just thinking about him. The family decided that just as you have mentioned the loss of our lad combined with the emptyness around the house was too much to bear. Closing doors behind us and hiding our shoes then realising we didnt have to was horrible.

 

My dad was so cut up. He spent all the time Im at work with Magnum. He cried more than when his dad died.

 

We decided the best thing to do was to get another pup. No dog could ever replace my Magnum but we owed it to him to gove another dog the love and affection we gave him. We were all decided that we wanted another Lab and we decided to get a fox red. We picked Leo up in October and he's a cracking lad. He will never replace Magnum as they are totally different dogs. It is only now that I can talk about magnum without breaking down.

 

I'd say the most important part of the grieving process is to talk about it. The say that Magnum died I wrote down all the things I loved about him and it really helped.

 

 

 

Reasons we love Magnum

 

He was always happy

He always welcomed us home and was excited to see us

He always wanted to be with someone like when he got covered in paint just so he could be outside with dad while he was painting the windows

He wanted to be friends with every person and dog he met

He might not have always done what he was told but he always went to 'Bed'

He always went to 'Find Jen'

He sneaked off with socks and hung his head when you found him with one

He loved eating tissues

He stole apples from the tree in the garden

He knew 'Paw' and 'Other paw'

He jumped up on the sofa and would instanty look at you as if to say 'Please let me stay here'

The way he used to lie down on the command of 'Sheepdog'

He would run 500 yards to play with another dog

He was always really well behaved in the car

He would always stay with Jen if I was away to keep her company

The way he swam accross the floor to scratch his tummy

When I took him shooting for the first time after his training course he hunted and retrieved the rabbit perfectly then when he was arms legnth away from me he suddenly decided that eating the rabbit was a much better idea so he ran off 100 yards and ate the whole thing!

He would sit on the flat hand command

He never complained, whined or showed pain apart from one small howl an hour before he died

He converted people who didnt like dogs into dog lovers

He stereotypically chased the cat

He hated hedgehogs

He would bark on the command of Shhhh

He would sprint out of the patio door on the off chance there was a pigeon by the pond

He only chewed Tor's shoes

The way he would sit on your lap if you say on the floor

The way he dragged his back legs when he went down the stairs

When he stole someones sandwich in Meryic park

He would headbutt a door to open it

He brought our family closer together

He was the best dog in the world.

 

 

That sir is a very good post.

[The Duncan]

You have my thoughts and deepest wishes for you to feel better about your loss BFG.

I've had dogs all my life and still shed the odd tear if I think about Storm too much (HUGE GSD we lost to kidney failure aged 7). He was incredible and left a massive hole when he was gone.

I do remember him so well and nothing can take my time with away.

I could never have another GSD.

How did I cope with losing the ole Timberwolf? I Cried, a lot (especially when alone on walks) and missed him really badly. You have to go through your grief and let it out, if you bottle it, it will damage you. Accept you feel wretched, it's ok. Learn to accept that things will improve for you and life will get better.

 

Man to man, I say throw yourself into your work and talk to your family a lot. Don't go rash and change everything, like moving, changing jobs etc; you have enough change to cope with right now.

The only rash, knee jerk action I might recommend is a puppy of a different breed as soon as possible. When Storm went, after a week we had a Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy (I'd lost a RR bitch 4 years before), and a week after that we'd got another because MrsD is a sap and knows how to work on me (he was the last puppy left, Solstice was the pick ):

 

 

 

These guys eased things a fair bit But man their air biscuits stink!

I felt a pang of guilt at first but then thought Storm would understand and wouldn't want me miserable.

Anyway, not going on anymore, people will think I'm daft.

Chin up matey (said in a deep manly gruff voice),

Duncan

Edited January 26, 2011 by The Duncan

[AlistairB]

Everyone thinks a dog is just a dog, but no matter how hard you try, at the end of the day they are a big part of you. As most have said, the pain eases after time, things become a little more rational and a little less emotional, but as you walk tall in days to come, they'll always be beside you, behaving, doing what they're told and but then you can laugh and have a sly grin at their miscomings.

 

Don't be rash, let it pass and build from there. He doesnt blame you for what happened, he was being him!

 

Take care.

 

AB

 

Edit to say: But i know when i lose one of mine, i'll feel exactly the same way.

Edited January 26, 2011 by blackla

[Spara Dritto]

Life is full of ups and downs mate, i've been there to the point of giving up but eventually pulled it back (this is with women not dogs, but same applys), it will get easier as time goes by, but as i always think, gone but never forgotten, get a new pup train him/her and it will again be your best friend! i once had a cat and eventually old age he died and i kept thinking i will never find one like him but sure enough i now have 2 beautiful boys who no, arnt better but on par, totally different personalitys but amazing all the same, chin up fella, you have everyons 100% support on this forum we all love shooting, love animals and also our fello shooters. Best of luck if you decide to get another one!

[The Duncan]

i once had a cat and eventually old age he died and i kept thinking i will never find one like him but sure enough i now have 2 beautiful boys who no, arnt better but on par, totally different personalitys but amazing all the same, chin up fella, you have everyons 100% support on this forum we all love shooting, love animals and also our fello shooters. Best of luck if you decide to get another one!

Funny how 1 animal can turn phoenix into 2 it seems!

[bruno22rf]

Try not concentrating on whats been lost but more on what was gained by both of you when you were out together-if you carry on being down each time you think of him you will eventually lose your memory of the happyness that you shared and that would be a shame.You can share your time and affection with any one of the thousands of dogs out there in rescue land that are facing a needle in the near future-ask yourself what your lost dog would have you do?

[al4x]

I'm between Munglers post and a simple man up one. Its tragic but pets are pets the more you have the more you have to accept they don't live as long as we would like them to, mourn them but move on and don't dwell on the downside more the good times. Get another puppy lined up for when you are ready and look forward, we have always had an array of animals about and it doesn't get much easier when one goes but its not something to drive you into depression if you move on. Its a bad thing but it isn't the end of the world just remember the dog had a good life with you and give another one a good home. The only way to avoid the feeling is to not have any animals but as you know its not quite the same

Edited January 28, 2011 by al4x

[Mungler]

Incidentally mine ran through a hedge and over a ditch after a pheasant she put up last Wednesday and was a gnats chuff away from going under the rear wheels of a Clio. It was proper close.

[Boromir]

I am feeling better about this, He would want to see me happy, so I'm gonna plant a tree in his favorite place and going to raise money to help a dog rehoming centre, may do a parachute jump so I can be closer to him in the sky. I think I will get another dog as my other dog is going mad and as somebody said not to replace him but to fill in a big hole he has left behind. I will never forget him though he was my little boy.

 

Thanks for all your support PW this is the reason why this is the only forum I like.

[The Duncan]

I think I will get another dog as my other dog is going mad and as somebody said not to replace him but to fill in a big hole he has left behind. Thanks for all your support PW this is the reason why this is the only forum I like.

And I've got a spare Ridgeback who is good at filling holes

His gas also fills any void from the big hole in his behind!

 

I'm very pleased you are seeing things a bit more positively now - that's what we are here for mate

Edited January 28, 2011 by The Duncan