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The Pig Killing


Whitebridges
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Deer Sar


Now I econ this'll meark yar mouth warter. Larst Tharsder, we hed pigs fry an' dumplens, vi' rare nice grearvy (an' we are only poor peeple). Granfar say, 'I recon this is our "Festival" dinner, John'. I'll tell yow suffen else, we ha' got sum proper sossages (not harf breard), so I know we shull hev sossage rolls for tea a' tha Sunday nite, an' we ha' got sum pork cheeses an' scraps (I like them). Well, I'll tell yow how we cuum by orl that luvely grub. Granfar's pal Jimmur killed a pig inter house, an' we orl went down to lend a hand. Aunt Agatha, she wus a cutten the stuff up, I wus fetchen an' bilen warter an duen. Granfar he wus a grinden out the sossages, wen there wus a knock on the door.


Aunt Agatha wiper har hans on har earpron an went, an blowed if that wornt oul Mrs W_____, she recon she wanted to see Aunt Agatha about suffen. Granfar say 'She know you ha' killed a pig, Jimmur, she's arter wot she can giit. If she cuum trew here, I'll shuv har trew this sossage masheen'. (We wore a warken trew in Jimmur's back plearse). Howsumever she went orf, an learter on Aunt Agatha took har a pork cheese sum pigs fry, an sum scraps. Granfar say, 'I dornt suppus yow meark much outer the pig Jimmur?' He say, 'No, but I mussent grumble, you see I ha' hed the company o' the pig orl winter and I ha got the muck now he's gorne'. Granfar say, 'Yar pig dint weigh as much as I thort it would, an I never thort it would neither'.


A few days learter, Mrs W_____ sent ward down to say as how she wornt well. Aunt Agatha went to hars, an foun har a'bed. She sed she thort the scraps hed upset har, but wot she hed got wus a rare bad cold. Well my Aunt Agatha, werry near spring clearned that house as soon as she got there, then she see to Mrs W_____. She put orl clean things on the bed an warshed a nitedress in cearse she hed to call the doctor in. Aunt Agatha sed she wus a bad pearshunt. She say to Mrs W_____ 'Will yow hev sum beef tea?' She say, 'No, thankyer'. Then she say, 'Well, will you hev sum nice brorth?' She say, 'No, thankyer'. Larst o' orl Aunt Agatha say, 'Well, will you hev a drop o' hot rum?' She sed, 'Yis plearse, meark it strong an meark me teark it'.


Aunt Agatha say, wen she cuum home the other nite, that Mrs W_____ was much better, only she can't giit much sleep. She told har as how she hearnt closed her eyes orl nite. Granfar say 'Well how du she recon she's a gorne to giit to sleep if she dornt shut har eyes?' Fare you well agin tergerther.


Yours obediently


The Boy John


PS Aunt Agatha, she say 'If you are married a wife is there if you want her'. Granfar say, 'Yis, so she is if you dornt'.

Edited by Whitebridges
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Blast Nige ,yew int aff bin bissi riten lots er werds . Thuss a reel talent yew av . Keep on troshing bor.

Let's see the PW spelling police sort this one out .

 

Harnser

 

We gorta lud a new un's moving in so we wunt 'en to speak proper like tha Queen does at Sandrun'am. :lol:

I gort the gal Lisa to tipe at, she cuum from juist nor a Sutton Bridge. She hus farst cus theres six fingers on har hands! :rolleyes:

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......learn to speak inbreed.......

 

You've got no chance mate :lol: You should have gone to a good school in Harrogate.

I read that in the accent of rural Angus and it all made sense.

 

Top of the class Mr Clark as usual.

seems normal on here :lol:

 

makes the imagination work hard and like a scene from the Woodlanders"

 

Normal for Norfolk. :lol::lol:

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