the last engineer Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!) The answers are a joke but the questions were really asked. Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA) A: Depends on how much you've been drinking. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to Contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) A: Let's not touch this one. Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) A: No, WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) A: Only at Thanksgiving. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA) A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first. See you at the Hippo races (and apparently I'll see ALL of you there)!! Martin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorfolkBoy Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 Very amusing...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new to the flock Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 I thought everyone knew that if you just followed the railraod tracks past the stuffed beaver to the ATM machine by the river in Toronto you would be at the Hippo races..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the last engineer Posted December 7, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 FUNNY, THE ONLY PEEPS THAT REPLY LIVE OVER HERE Martin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magman Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 (edited) what number do them geese live at Edited December 7, 2005 by magman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 Another question, what time does it snow in Canada? LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dunganick Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 Another question, what time does it snow in Canada? LB dont be stupid LB, it snows all the time, 365 days a year, thats why they have so many horses with horns Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry d Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 From00-01 to 23-59 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Pudding Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 I realise that you are in a different time zone in Canada , so could you tell me what time the day starts ? (uk) all the best yis yp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the last engineer Posted December 7, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 if you guys are spoiling for a fight, nows the time to do it. come over on a saturday night, the TANKS wont be plugged in, so they wont start, we'll all be ****** as its hockey night in Canada we bought a bunch of used subs, sold as seen, they dont work either :*) the last one caught fire , its a shame that West Edmonton Mall has more working subs than the Canadian Navy, im not kidding http://www.discoveredmonton.com/Photos/Rec...ies/10-402.html Martin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 ROTFFLMFAO As usual TLE, excellent LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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