Child support payments

[oneshotkiller]

My girlfriend currently gets 10 a week off her sons dad , which has been reduced from 20 a week .

The blokes in full time work as a roofer (own business) makes you wonder why some getaway with such a low amount , and those who cant afford it get stung ?

[starlight32]

My girlfriend currently gets 10 a week off her sons dad , which has been reduced from 20 a week .

The blokes in full time work as a roofer (own business) makes you wonder why some getaway with such a low amount , and those who cant afford it get stung ?

 

 

Its simple, If you are self employed, play clever with the accountant you can get away with it. If you are fortunate that your disclosed or disposable income is low then that is all they can assess you on.

 

I have see some quite successful people get away with paying low amounts.

 

I have also see some women who feel their ex partners are living too good a life when their CSA assessment are low complain to them that they have new cars,nice homes etc to which the CSA can look into but if your figures are right their is nothing they can do about it.

 

The only thing I feel is totally unfair about the whole system is that the CSA overrid any previously agreed settlements made in the courts, so as in the case of a friend of mine he settled on a 90k house plus reduced maitenance in 1990 only to see it overturned a few years later.

 

The CSA has cassed more breakdown in relationships with ex partners than the actually original split itself in the aftermath.

[ST3V3]

I recieved forms from the csa on 15 october 2002, they recieved them back on 25 october, I then recieved a letter informing me that I had to pay £200 a week on 28 october 2003 53 weeks after they recieved the forms oh and by the way you are £10600 in arrears how would you like to pay this off!

I had made payments of £80/week to my ex which took 18 months to be taken off the arrears

under the system that came in march 2003 I would have to pay £53/week

my ex works full time as a manager in a shoe shop her otherhalf is a fork lift driver so just for arguments sake they earn £500 a week between them

I have spoke to the csa about how much I pay and the fact shes working but as she claims tax credits according to them because of this she has zero income, so if i claim tax credits does this give me a zero income? NO we want some of that to!!!!

all communication I have with the csa has to be through letter as every time I call them they tell me that im not allowed to call them owing to things I have said to them in the past and hang up.

[Mungler]

Mungler,

 

If can be so bold to ask what is the highest maitanence payment you have settled for a client in your line of work?

 

5 figures a month plus private school fees on top.

 

It's all relative.

 

I would have to work a life time just to match the value of what was catalogued and had to be divvied up in the wine cellar.

 

[Chard]

The only thing I feel is totally unfair about the whole system is that the CSA overrid any previously agreed settlements made in the courts, so as in the case of a friend of mine he settled on a 90k house plus reduced maitenance in 1990 only to see it overturned a few years later.

 

That's exactly what they did with me (or tried to). When I pointed out that it was the law, my settlement was made by the court, they just said "we are the law now" or somesuch arrogant ****.

 

I despise them. They cost the taxpayer untold fortunes. They only chase easy targets who are voluntarily paying maintenance, then they take over the case, and claim that they have "recovered" the maintenance involved. This is to try and justifty their miserable existence and make it look as though they are saving the taxpayer money. ******* joke.

[shaun4860]

Just my tuppence worth as im single with no kids....

 

Have you actually spoken to your ex about this and explained your situation?

 

You say you "get on amicably"

 

Maybe worth a try before going down the CSA route....

 

shaun

[yanibaby]

I'm divorcing my husband at the moment, had a meeting with my solicitor about three weeks ago and she said that fathers generally pay 20% of their income for one child, this goes up to 25% for two children and so on, with deductions if the children spend more than 52 nights per year at the fathers house (I'm not sure what rate the amount goes down by depending on how many nights per week they spend at their fathers though)

To me 25% seems a huge amount, and if my ex were to pay that he'd never be able to afford a place of his own (he's on a low income) and I dread to think of the type of place he'd end up living in if I took around a quarter of his income away, it's more important to me that he has a decent place for the kids to stay over, and some cash to spend on taking them out and about etc.

I want to keep things as amicable as possible between us because our situation is a bit mental at the mo (I'll be having his baby in about 8 weeks!) and it's clear to me that involving the CSA would put an immediate end to the already fragile 'friendship' I'm trying to maintain with him, so I don't consider it an option... So as recommended by my solicitor I attempted to come to some sort of agreement with him without involving any third parties and was called a bitch purely for mentioning money. He explained how he doesn't see why he should be responsible for paying anything towards the childrens upbringing because he doesn't earn much, and that because he's now a 'single father' he'll be claiming benefits (I tried to explain to him that as the children will be living with me 5 or 6 nights a week he probably wouldn't be able to do this, but I don't think he believed me)

So anyway, all I asked for was £15 per week - to be paid directly to our childminder towards the cost of childcare (I currently pay just over £100 per week, this will double when the new baby arrives) so it's not as if the money's going to me to spend on 'shoes and clothes for myself' which is what he seems to think... He refused for a while (even though he's living at his parents house rent free, and spends twice as much as that on weed every week) but suddenly came round to the idea after taking professional advice... But he's told me that he'll only pay it while he's living for free at his parents house and that as soon as he's got a place of his own he'll stop. It's been such hard work for me to try to get him to agree to the £15 per week that I can't even be bothered to try to discuss it with him anymore, as he thinks that because I earn more than him I should pay for everything myself... Still I dread to even think about involving the CSA, especially after reading this thread, despite all my friends and family etc telling me I should and that I shouldn't worry about making sure he has a decent place to live.

Maybe I'll print off this thread and show it to him so he can see for himself how easy he has it. Our son is the coolest, most amazing little thing ever and it breaks my heart to know that his father prioritizes funding his drug habit over contributing towards anything for him.

[Mungler]

Our son is the coolest, most amazing little thing ever and it breaks my heart to know that his father prioritizes funding his drug habit over contributing towards anything for him.

 

Words fail me.

 

And that doesn't happen often.

[Marcus]

Yanibaby - just read your post - I wish you well in the future.

 

I think you have tried to be very reasonable in what you have asked for in way of support, given the situation you have described above. And I can't believe he is taking issue with it.

 

As much as I hate the CSA, for all their Ills, your frieneds are right, the CSA is exactly for this type of situation where the father just wont live up to their responsibilities. Even if he was on benefits the CSA would stop £5 a week for a token CSA payment whilst he was claiming benefits.

 

It may be the final nail in your already fragile friendship though.........but given his current attitude would you or the children loose out that much by way of contact?

 

I hope it all works out for you

Edited July 7, 2010 by Marcus

[yanibaby]

Yanibaby - just read your post - I wish you well in the future.

 

I think you have tried to be very reasonable in what you have asked for in way of support, given the situation you have described above. And I can't believe he is taking issue with it.

 

As much as I hate the CSA, for all their Ills, your frieneds are right, the CSA is exactly for this type of situation where the father just wont live up to their responsibilities. Even if he was on benefits the CSA would stop £5 a week for a token CSA payment whilst he was claiming benefits.

 

I may be the final nail in your already fragile friendship though.........but given his current attitude would you or the children loose out that much by way of contact?

 

I hope it all works out for you

 

 

That's really kind, thanks.

 

It's a difficult one because I'd hate for the children not to see their father, plus I'd never prevent him from seeing his children just because he wasn't contributing financially 'cos then I'd feel like I was doing it purely out of spite. The truth is that I can manage without him, and obviously I'll make sure that the kids never go without anything they need - but it won't be easy.

I know he's a complete tool, but my son adores him, so I could never stop them from spending time together. My friends keep saying how my son will eventually grow to see exactly what his Dad is like, and how **** he was etc like it's a good thing that he'll grow up to hate his Dad for not contributing or whatever - but I want my children to be able to respect their Dad when they're older. (Obviously this depends on how he behaves in the future, he could surprise us all and turn out to be a great father, but I'm not holding my breath) I just don't want to be the one who stands in the way of him having a great relationship with his kids, and I'll do anything to encourage/help him - in fact I've had to give him money recently to take our son swimming because apparently he's skint despite having a huge disposable income now he's living at his parents house.

 

I just want everything to go as smoothly as possible, and for the divorce to be quick and hopefully have no effect on our son and the new baby... If that means me just accepting that my ex is an idiot and biting my tongue, then so be it. I just hope that one day he realises what a douche he's been.

[MM]

at least you are man enough to look after your kids. i know one guy who has 8 kids, and does not pay a penny towards them. Then again the mother must be on more that me, as she gets every benifit under the sun.

[digger]

Thanks again for the replies ladies and gents.

The cruise deal is that her mum is addicted to them - she takes her daughters on one a year where no kids go along and one where the whole family ( excluding the menfolk ) go too. The reason behind it is the only other son in law out of four daughters has a chronic drink problem and cant be trusted, therefore it was easier not to let the men go than tell him the reason.

Basically for eight years I had two holidays while she had sixteeen, I didnt really want to go away without the girls or just me and them, it would have been strange.

What made it come to mind was that every time I pick the girls up there are parcels waiting from Next, Kays etc that have clothes for all three of them and then my eldest text me this morning to ask for £3 to take on her school trip as "mum always has to give us money". Well, she can afford to!

As suggested I will talk with her as we do get on well, better than when we were married in fact. I know I have it easy compared to some ( I wish you all the best yanibaby ) and my girlfriend is cool with the situation but with the divorce imminent I need to know where I stand.

Thanks again for all the comments - PW comes good again

[Spaniel]

We never got the CSA involvd when I went through a divorce, i agreed to pay X amount per month and plus I always brought what the kids wanted.

I have a good relationship with the X all beit for the sake of the kids but I think its no good if they see you at each other throats all the time etc.

 

I dont pay any maintenance these days but they are always asking for a few quid here and there so what the hell its only money.

 

Yanibaby if your bloke cant afford to give you £15 per week and you are about to have his baby, then get the CSA involved if nothing else works, that little one is going to cost you a bit and he should be helping you.

all the best

[RogerTheCat]

The CSA has an online caluculator so you can calculate how much you should pay withput speaking to them

 

CSA

 

I think you will find you are paying to much

[mpk]

I'm divorcing my husband at the moment, had a meeting with my solicitor about three weeks ago and she said that fathers generally pay 20% of their income for one child, this goes up to 25% for two children and so on, with deductions if the children spend more than 52 nights per year at the fathers house (I'm not sure what rate the amount goes down by depending on how many nights per week they spend at their fathers though)

To me 25% seems a huge amount, and if my ex were to pay that he'd never be able to afford a place of his own (he's on a low income) and I dread to think of the type of place he'd end up living in if I took around a quarter of his income away, it's more important to me that he has a decent place for the kids to stay over, and some cash to spend on taking them out and about etc.

I want to keep things as amicable as possible between us because our situation is a bit mental at the mo (I'll be having his baby in about 8 weeks!) and it's clear to me that involving the CSA would put an immediate end to the already fragile 'friendship' I'm trying to maintain with him, so I don't consider it an option... So as recommended by my solicitor I attempted to come to some sort of agreement with him without involving any third parties and was called a bitch purely for mentioning money. He explained how he doesn't see why he should be responsible for paying anything towards the childrens upbringing because he doesn't earn much, and that because he's now a 'single father' he'll be claiming benefits (I tried to explain to him that as the children will be living with me 5 or 6 nights a week he probably wouldn't be able to do this, but I don't think he believed me)

So anyway, all I asked for was £15 per week - to be paid directly to our childminder towards the cost of childcare (I currently pay just over £100 per week, this will double when the new baby arrives) so it's not as if the money's going to me to spend on 'shoes and clothes for myself' which is what he seems to think... He refused for a while (even though he's living at his parents house rent free, and spends twice as much as that on weed every week) but suddenly came round to the idea after taking professional advice... But he's told me that he'll only pay it while he's living for free at his parents house and that as soon as he's got a place of his own he'll stop. It's been such hard work for me to try to get him to agree to the £15 per week that I can't even be bothered to try to discuss it with him anymore, as he thinks that because I earn more than him I should pay for everything myself... Still I dread to even think about involving the CSA, especially after reading this thread, despite all my friends and family etc telling me I should and that I shouldn't worry about making sure he has a decent place to live.

Maybe I'll print off this thread and show it to him so he can see for himself how easy he has it. Our son is the coolest, most amazing little thing ever and it breaks my heart to know that his father prioritizes funding his drug habit over contributing towards anything for him.

 

 

 

 

I wish my ex was more like you my life would be a thousand times easier .

[ST3V3]

The CSA has an online caluculator so you can calculate how much you should pay withput speaking to them

 

CSA

 

I think you will find you are paying to much

 

this only works under the new rules for those of us the scum have had there claws into for a while they just made a number up added a lot more and screwed you over, i am happy to pay under the new rules as my payments half!!!!! if they do ever get transposed to the new system it gets reduced over 5 years for example old rules you pay £150 new rules you pay £100 it gets reduced £10 for 1st year £20 for 2nd etc. I asked why this was and was told "your ex may have borrowed money so we cant take it of her in 1 go as it could make it hard for her to repay her debt"

try looking up the book of the dead it lists loads of people who have commited suicide stating the csa as the main reason for them taking there own life yet they refuse to accept this.

 

how anyone could be so cold hearted to work for that bunch of low life scum amazes me