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double entendres on British TV & Radio


pavman
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Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male

astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:

"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only

come in his shorts."

 

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson

lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:

"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it By himself."

 

Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:

"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

 

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World

Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

 

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning:

"She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed lasnt night."

 

'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's

formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

 

 

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:

"Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

 

 

Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

 

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:

There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

 

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:

"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

 

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

 

The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away...

"My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

 

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big

race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

 

Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said:

"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

 

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed

and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that

eight inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too

because they were laughing so hard!

 

US PGA Commentator -

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that,

before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ....

Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

 

Metro Radio - "Julian ***** is everywhere. It's like they've got

eleven ***** on the field."

 

Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 -

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing

the Cox of the Oxford crew."

 

Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse.

I once rode her mother."

 

New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl

Gibson comes inside of him."

 

Pat Glenn, weight-lifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from

Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!".

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And also on cricket when botham failed to step over his wicket,

 

Botham haas failed to get his leg over....

Rememeber that one well country est.

 

I was laying a patio with my old man and we were listening to the match on the radio. When the commentator said this and then he and his colleague twigged it, the two of them could not speak for ages. All you could hear was the two of them sniggering.

 

Me and Dad couldn't work for the laughing. It was great.

 

Rob.

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