ME Posted October 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 This is interesting to me ME because I'm a teacher. Firstly you say your son is 12 which means he's in year 7 (and has been for half a term) you say the last time this boy did this your lad got suspended which if it happened this term would be unusual ....pupils rarely get suspended for defending themselves in my experience, the perpetrator may do. Did the previous event happen at primary school? It's great that he is working two years above his "syllabus age" I've not heard that term before but I assume you mean he's working at the level of a year 9 kid...you must be very proud Hope the incident gets sorted Oh, by the way ...if its a state school it is illegal to select for sixth form by "invite" . The criteria for entry to a sixth form can only ever be based on academic requirements, not behaviour. Still, that's a few years away yet for your lad The last incident was last school year. A few of the different junior schools feed to two senior schools in the area. As you will know, there is always the initial settling in period at the beginning of the first year when the alpha male boys from the different schools start flexing their muscles to determine the pecking order. This lad decided to constantly pick on ME jnr calling him a fat, ginger ---- and constantly tried to get a rise by pushing him about. This was until one day when ME jnr snapped and punched the boy in the face and laid him out. Both boys were suspended and subsequently apologised to each other. I am afraid that I am not a teacher so not an expert on school speak. I am sure that if you had to write about my industry (freight and shipping) that you would get some of the terminology wrong. In simple terms he is 12 and working at GCSE level. What I was trying to demonstrate is that ME jnr is an intelligent, balanced boy and not someone that through lack of intelligence talks with his fists. With regards to sixth form, this was my belief that the kids are invited, but maybe I stand corrected. I am sure however, that you will agree as a teacher that it is better that he keeps a good behavioural history and that his educational successes are not clouded by run ins with idiots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
victorismyhero Posted October 24, 2013 Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 (edited) You have to remember that we live in a world where a) all teachers are terrified of "them above" and are already indoctrinated in the PC modus operandi B) PC means that victims are punished/neglected and derided whereas c) Perps are protected, counseled, and give every sympathy d) any attempt to fight against this nonsense is beaten down with howls of indignation, threats (both subtle and not so subtle), and, if you dare actually whack an assailant..you will get 5 years where the perp...if he had crippled you... would get 20 hours community service and a jolly good telling off.. Edited October 24, 2013 by victorismyhero Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hodge911 Posted October 24, 2013 Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 Normally hamster I agree with most you say. Not on this though. My eldest is comming up for 4. Now right or wrongly I have told him to fight back. There is a gob****e at his nursery that makes the other kids time a misery. He pushed my boy and my lad told me about it. I just said if he does it again punch him. 3 days later he did. thats what i told my kids when they were young and my god did it work..............................long story short lad that lived local to us kept bullieing my daughter and her friend as they played on front lawn [ i think she was about 8/9 at time and he was 3yr older anyhow i told her next time he done anything to just lash out at him and that she wouldnt be in trouble with me ....................fast forward she comes runnihg in house crying sasying she was sorry but i told her to so she was told not to worry i would go see his parents and explain i knock on door and his dad [ who i know quite well] answers with his son standing next to him with a fat lip and a bloody nose ..thinkin oh shoot this is going to get messy but before i say a word his dad says its ok mate i seen what happened and your girl only stood up for herself he wont be doing owt like that agian shook my hand and closed the door ....................................................when my girl had hit back she had plywood bat with a ball on elastic in her hand .true enough that put pay to his bullying and we still all speak/are friends today [ unfotunately my daughter passed away 11yrs ago aged 17] but times have changed alot since then.......................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted October 24, 2013 Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 (edited) I understand that at our local school, anyone caught fighting or fighting back is sent home and suspended. The means when there's a fight between two pupils both get suspended as a matter of policy. That's BS in my books and punishes the recipient as well as the protagonist which is no doubt some modern left thinking crock of the brown stuff. I suppose it's an easy way out for the teachers because it avoids getting to the bottom of who started it or judging a pupil. Apparently in this day and age 'only god can Judge anyone'. Edited October 24, 2013 by Mungler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigadam Posted October 24, 2013 Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 Kids arnt encouraged to chin other people that deserve it nowadays tell him to chin anyone who tries it again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted October 24, 2013 Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 I tell mine that the important lesson to learn is not to get caught Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted October 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 I tell mine that the important lesson to learn is not to get caught Amen, brother! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigadam Posted October 24, 2013 Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 I tell mine hit as hard as u can in the nose shes only 3 but learning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delburt0 Posted October 24, 2013 Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 Ever thought it might be the rank food in the canteen leaving kids peckish (I blame the cook ) :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeds chimp Posted October 24, 2013 Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 I understand that at our local school, anyone caught fighting or fighting back is sent home and suspended. The means when there's a fight between two pupils both get suspended as a matter of policy. That's BS in my books and punishes the recipient as well as the protagonist which is no doubt some modern left thinking crock of the brown stuff. I suppose it's an easy way out for the teachers because it avoids getting to the bottom of who started it or judging a pupil. Apparently in this day and age 'only god can Judge anyone'. and thats the bad part....my lad is pretty big for his age ... always tell my lad to fight back if anyone picks on him...but said if i catch him or get told he is a bully... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehb102 Posted October 24, 2013 Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 My work is treating people with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You cannot take bullying too seriously, either as a parent or as someone in authority. I recommend Tim Field's work at www.bullyonline.org. I treat (and I cure!) people with PTSD from bullying. Anyone still affected by bullying, PM me in confidence. In any situation conforming to the school's requirements for handling a bullying situation needs to depend on the culture of the school and how well they handle such things. Bullies don't stop until they are made to stop, whether that's by circumstance or a change in result. Why should they stop if they're enjoying it and getting away with it? It is appropriate for parents to advise that children follow school procedure for the first incident with an individual, in the same way it is appropriate for parents to help children realise what their boundaries are. A child unable to take any ribbing because he is "being disrespected" is not going to be able to function in a school environment. However, no child should have to withstand a constant barrage of verbal abuse. Traumatisation most often happens when people find the world makes it clear that their wishes, their needs, their human rights are not important to the world. Being allowed to defend yourself is a big part in preventing this happening. Any system that says a person should lie down and take abuse especially physical is IMHO incredibly damaging. Any system that does not protect the complainant and stamp on the problem the first time is ineffective and any sanction taken against further self-defence methods is victim blaming. Any sniff of victim blaming from the school and frankly I join the "punch 'em back" side of the argument. This is when the parent needs to step in and be that child's advocate. Society only functions properly when everyone acts to the same standards, and authority halts transgressors. The parents' job is to make authority do it's job. Passive resistance in the style of Gandhi only works if perpetrators are held to account by others. In the authority-free world of the playground it doesn't work. The only available strategies are to avoid, to defuse, to defend, or to counter-attack (have I missed any?). Counter-attack is the most effective form of self-defence with bullies, as the point is not to stop the blow from landing but to stop another blow from ever being struck. It is up to schools to ensure that children can work within their systems and are not forced to resort to using the only other resources to which they have access. Now admittedly, I haven't been in a scrap since I was 12, but is holding someone down to get bitten within the normal spectrum of behaviour used to impose dominion over another? I personally think it's a step further over the line then punching or kicking as it involves bodily fluids. That added element makes it more serious than punching or other forms of hurt, as it's about physically violating someone, not just causing pain. That should be treated as a more serious incident by the school. @ME, I hope the school are supportive and do not try and sweep the incident under the carpet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
double10 Posted October 24, 2013 Report Share Posted October 24, 2013 (edited) Buy him a bottle of 'liquid as*' worked a treat for me Edited October 24, 2013 by double10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodo123 Posted October 25, 2013 Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 Anyone who bullies anyone at any age for their "kicks" require in my opinion very harsh sustained punishment. Their brains cannot compute like a normal functioning mind. I don't know the statistics but at a guess I'd imagine these people to become pointless drain on society. I'm not talking about all forms classed as bullying, for example you have a verbal altercation that in theory could be classed as bullying. I'm talking sustained physical or mental bullying for no reason other than to intimidate, impress etc etc. Unfortunately it's a fact of life that these "people" are in our society and we need defensive measures to counter them. If I was you I'd have a long talk with your kid and find out as much information possible, not just about the incident but the bully and his life etc. Use this to your advantage in whatever way you can while remaining "above board". You may find information what could incriminate the bully for other issues, you may find he's torturing other kids. Make a point of all this when discussing the actions with the head teacher. It's easier to do a job with tools rather than invent the tools to do the job. If nothing goes any further then have a word with other parents, there are strength in numbers and if enough people complain they cannot ignore it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted October 25, 2013 Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 Some good posts. Ehb102, well thought out post that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster Posted October 25, 2013 Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 Normally hamster I agree with most you say. Not on this though. My eldest is comming up for 4. Now right or wrongly I have told him to fight back. There is a gob****e at his nursery that makes the other kids time a misery. He pushed my boy and my lad told me about it. I just said if he does it again punch him. 3 days later he did. I'm afraid I'm going to agree with you there at nursery age they can't do each other real harm so mine was told to push the other fella over because he was having a hard time dealing with this particular bully - as they get older you have to adapt your advice, I'm not saying he would need to play Ghandi for the rest of his life but you have to prepare them for the challenge of real life and fisticuffs then is the very last resort. Passive resistance in the style of Gandhi only works if perpetrators are held to account by others. In the authority-free world of the playground it doesn't work. The only available strategies are to avoid, to defuse, to defend, or to counter-attack (have I missed any?). Counter-attack is the most effective form of self-defence with bullies, as the point is not to stop the blow from landing but to stop another blow from ever being struck. It is up to schools to ensure that children can work within their systems and are not forced to resort to using the only other resources to which they have access. School playgrounds are not authority - free, otherwise a very good post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cookoff013 Posted October 25, 2013 Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 check if the biter is a zombie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linny Posted October 25, 2013 Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 Better biting than bumming...... but i dont think anyone at my school got bitten Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehb102 Posted October 25, 2013 Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 School playgrounds are not authority - free, otherwise a very good post. Thank you. Perhaps I should have said "unsupervised". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pimpkiller Posted October 25, 2013 Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 Can i just point out that a human bite is an extremely dangerous injury due to the bacteria in the mouth and this kid is lucky not to end up hospitalized. Take pictures and if you arnt happy with what the head says take it above him, these kids should be severely punished for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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