Maiden22

You'd have to get her a good pair of wellies for a start, those boots would be useless on a farm. Robert

Flash, it does sound like they're abusing the situation. Hope you can find something else soon. Robert

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Lord Lucan? Wasn't he the fella who kidnapped the Lidbergh baby? Buried him at Roswell I think. Robert

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Looks OK to me - twin airbags on a car programme . Or a nice pair of headlights (groan). Robert

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There was a good one about the Titanic being switched with her sister ship for an insurance scam. Robert

Did you get chased across the sand by a **** off great balloon? What the fluffin' ada is this thread about? Can't we talk about something sensible, like sheds, or slug pellets? That's enough out of you sunshine. Back to the playpen! Robert

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I could never understand how she got the column in the first place. Dim, barking, neither use nor ornament - not a glowing CV. Robert

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You are Number 6. I am not a number! I am a free man! Robert

? Do you smell like toast? No I don't smell like toast. I smell like this: sniff sniff. (chortle chortle) No idea how toast smells. Robert

I suppose they need to do something to counterbalance the presenters - they look like tramps. Robert

SILENCE PEASANTS! HOW DARE YOU QUESTION YOUR OVERLORDS! Yours &c, NWO

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember her from when I used to buy the MOS (another ex-reader). Wasn't she the one who used to whinge every week (in a newspaper column, God help us) about her useless husband / boyfriend? He sits around all day eating crisps in her house, drinking her booze, spending her money, fornicating with anybody who'd loosen their knickers, continued ad nauseam. Total and utter chump. It's an interesting form of reasoning - x will happen anyway, therefore I will bring it about now. This could solve a lot of problems. Take the NHS for example. Patients will die anyway at some point, so surely there is nothing wrong with simply turning them away. Hey presto, no more NHS crisis! Or we could stop fretting about knife crime. Sure, people are getting stabbed, but they would die one day anyway. Now everyone could relax. Car crime? Well, you might be a bit miffed if I stole your car. But have you considered that you will probably get rid of it at some point? Just bringing the day forward, so stop griping. Robert

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Bob, far be it from me and all that, but are you sure that your scoring system is strictly impartial? Robert

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Shocking how some people will behave. Robert

I'm the last one to try to inject any seriousness into a thread, but has anyone else noticed how much worse women's driving is getting? Before the ladies swoop, let me clarify; by worse I mean more aggressive, inconsiderate, foolish, and generally "male". Over the last couple of years I have seen several incidents of dangerous and agressive driving and have naturally expected some baseball-capped scrote, attempting to compensate for shortage in barrel department, to be the culprit. Instead, sight of the driver reveals her to be a woman. Purely anecdotal of course, but I don't recall seeing much of this kind of thing even a few years ago. Robert