London Best

It’s people generally that I don’t like!

I have a friend who runs a shoot on land owned by Dyson.

I don’t! A public footpath is not a running track.

Agreed!

Anybody else can shoot the Reds for me, thank you. I have two hernias from trying to lift Fallow bucks into the Land Rover. Lifting Reds is a job for a Scotsman! Your Red stag would stink because it has just finished the rut. I like Muntjac now, one under each arm.

Just the opposite here. Alarm goes just before 7am (except on shoot mornings, obviously, then it is usually 6am!) Immediately out of bed, stagger into bathroom, pee, then jump straight into a hot shower. ps: love the way you wear a woolly hat to keep your head warm.

And some people STILL believe in sky fairies!

We don’t need animals to spread litter here. The bin men make a terrible mess of the place every weekX sorry fortnight.

Many modern cars would not have allowed anyone to climb in as the doors would have been locked automatically..

Nowhere near as selfish as the cyclists who rode straight through the local town remembrance parade last Sunday. Yellow jerseys, racing bikes, head down **** up, I’m in the Tour de France, scattered the local girl guides.

Dunno, but it certainly was not so effective as the 26 1/2 inch Royal Brevis on the next peg. Which, oddly enough, does not seem to be any handicap on Welsh pheasants either 😉.

I paid only £15 for the heated gilet I have. Power pack was £25 if I recall correctly. I wear it for sitting up high seats before it gets light in Winter. Had it two winters. The gilet is SO warm I have never yet needed to switch on the power!

I expect, as many artists before you, you will live and die in comparative poverty and your paintings will become very valuable after you are gone.

On Monday this week I shot with a man using (I think) a Krieghof. It was a trap gun and must have weighed at least 9lbs+. It had 32 inch barrels with another couple of inches of chokes sticking out of the end, and had more gold on it than a French admiral’s uniform. He was saying he couldn’t get on the birds quickly enough. That was hardly surprising as we were in totally flat Lincolnshire shooting partridge coming over hedges 35 yards in front of the guns! Apparently, all his mates had told him to buy this gun and had told him what a superb gun it was. I’m sure it was …….for what it was designed for.

When my mate was cutting his silage I had one chap saying it was about time this grass was cut so we could walk about properly! He was incredulous when I told him it was not being cut to allow the public better access, but for animal feed.