Supersonic

Every hankie (not Mr Hankey) has its place. N

No, that's Sue Barker.

Draculas tea bag

A Mersey shark? N

Still a better lech than Songs of Praise! .... Unless you are an RC priest of course

I got ejected from our local baths for weeing in the pool. Probably shouldnt have done it from the 10m diving board to be fair. N

Womens beach volleyball. Close-ups on the secret hand signals please! N

And the BBC called her an 'athlete' !! No pies left! N

You called??? N

Is there an echo in here? N

My fave Uncle now has two hearing aids. He says that his hearing is fine but people have taken to mumbling. N

On a serious note - take the kids to the Magic Masters shop in Caesar's Palace, they will be wowwed!!! Nige

Free at the weekend? Nige

All my experiences are courtesy of 216 sqn ( TriStars) N

Same infrastructure, different signal. N

PS pm me if you would like Nige's guide to Bangkok (ping pong balls optional). Top tip: don't eat bananas that taste of baby oil. True story! Nige

Useless gita, haven't had a signal in Southampton or Basingstoke since 2pm. Nige Useless gita, haven't had a signal in Southampton or Basingstoke since 2pm. Nige

1. Leave the Mrs at home 2. Drink and gamble every night until the sun starts to rise. 3. Find a different hooker each night. What happens in Vegas - stays in Vegas!! Party on (courtesy of Nige's guide to Vegas)

Someone once said that he sounds more stoned than a cheating Arabs wife. N

Don't get conned into a mattress per se, they are only 'topped' with memory foam in most cases. But a mattress topper (Amazon about 70 squid) does the trick, just make sure it is at lest 2" thick. Bought one ages ago - top deal!! Nige Don't get conned into a mattress per se, they are only 'topped' with memory foam in most cases. But a mattress topper (Amazon about 70 squid) does the trick, just make sure it is at lest 2" thick. Bought one ages ago - top deal!! Nige

Taste testing is now over. Next time that bed comes round I will get on itt. N

Well my first batch of 'wash' has just completed. It's just water, sugar, and a turbo-yeast. Final measurement is 17.9% ABV. The yanks use this to then distil moonshine but I will add lemonade and Sodastream syrup to the cleared wash to make a nice fruity punch! In summary that's approx 80 pints of potent punch for less than fifteen quid! Plus the usual satisfaction of having made it yourself! If any one wants further details of how this is done just let me know. Nige

A very small minority - my son is 24, done a tour in Iraq and 2 in Afghan and they've now told him he is redundant. BTW I did 14 years in RAF do my opinion is qualified. Nige

You will ride into the sunset on a unicorn chasing magic dragons N

**** him - just bury him now. More mercy than he showed those kids. N