Jim Sarakun Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 (edited) Now that the Christmas Festivities are upon us, a few of us guns are at a loss at what to buy the Gamekeeper on one of our shoots. The Landowner and the Farm Manager were easy and a vast array of goodies have already been discussed and are on the shopping list. The Gamekeeper though , has proven more difficult. On this particular shoot, the Gamekeeper so far this year has walked through my decoys on a good day, phoned the Farm manager in front of me as if I was not there and asked why I was shooting that particular field. To be told not to be so childish and to leave me alone. Will never acknowledge you on first sight in the morning, while we smile and wave to him. Checks where we have been shooting to see if we have left any contraband, in front of us as we are closing the gate. Has NEVER spoken to us. Behaves in front of those he does talk to, as though it is his property. Is always complaining about us. So now you see the dilemma and these are the ones I remember. So for HIS Christmas prezzy we have so far, only come up with the idea of buying him a "Bottle of Personality" and a "Box of Maturity". The shoot is overrun with Magpies, so perhaps a book on how to cull this particular vermin would be of use to him too. Do any PW members have any other ideas, or have you bought your stroppy belligerent obnoxious Gamekeeper something else more in keeping with his character, that you can recommend to us. Your help would be graciously appreciated. Edited December 7, 2009 by Jim Sarakun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Post his address on here and we can all send him a jiffy bag full of dog poo. Sounds like a nice guy, doesn't post on here by any chance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzy518 Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 He HAS spoken to me once Jim....and in a way that provoked my telling him to go away think about what he is saying then return in a more civil manner.....I have heard that this bloke boy does not need any bottle of arrogance this year as he has more than enough....Might consider a few roadkill badgers placed near his bonfire and a call to the owner though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Sarakun Posted December 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Post his address on here and we can all send him a jiffy bag full of dog poo. Sounds like a nice guy, doesn't post on here by any chance? Probably not as I have heard he is very tight and never stands a round, always in the toilet when it is his, you know the type. So probably no computer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Sarakun Posted December 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 He HAS spoken to me once Jim....and in a way that provoked my telling him to go away think about what he is saying then return in a more civil manner.....I have heard that this bloke boy does not need any bottle of arrogance this year as he has more than enough....Might consider a few roadkill badgers placed near his bonfire and a call to the owner though Nice one! A road kill Badger in the back of his pick up, then a quick call to the Land Owner and Green Peace duly noted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 How about a load of prawn heads and shells near the heater intake of his car? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Sarakun Posted December 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Hi MC. I have never seen him far away from his Pickup, so this may prove difficult, but I like your train of thought. It's on the list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kev 1 Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Tell him to take his face for a ****.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al4x Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 ha ha I know one like this, they do themselves no good at all. In my case its my mates farm and he rents the game shooting and ever since has tried to stop us controlling vermin. Half the year he won't speak to us and tries to create an atmosphere as uncomfortable as possible yet come the season he's nice as pie as he likes us to beat which i only do as my mate has a gun on the syndicate thrown in. i'd suggest ignore the fishy smell and find a nice stinky fox to wedge up near his engine once warmed should take forever to get rid of the stink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malkiserow Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 (edited) Get him a spa day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . with a colonic irrigation !!!!!!!! Edited December 7, 2009 by malkiserow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzy518 Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Thats one way to get his head outta his **** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Sarakun Posted December 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 ha ha I know one like this, they do themselves no good at all. In my case its my mates farm and he rents the game shooting and ever since has tried to stop us controlling vermin. Half the year he won't speak to us and tries to create an atmosphere as uncomfortable as possible yet come the season he's nice as pie as he likes us to beat which i only do as my mate has a gun on the syndicate thrown in. i'd suggest ignore the fishy smell and find a nice stinky fox to wedge up near his engine once warmed should take forever to get rid of the stink This Gamekeeper has been like this from day one. He started working there about 3 years ago. I did subtly put the word around this summer, to people he spoke to, that I had asked the Land Owner if I could open a Fox Sanctuary for old and injured Foxes, near to where he keeps the Poults, just before the season. It was made clear that I was vigilantly pursuing this end. Well come on lads, there is always a way you can get at these people is there not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harnser Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Jim , I know exactly how you are feeling . I had similer problems with a syndicate keeper on the farms that I shoot . The syndicate were told in no uncertain terms that I would have full run of the farms for pigeon shooting and they were told not to put any sanctions on me whatsoever . Its a long ugly story but it got out of hand by the ignorant keeper and he was banned from the farms forth with and the syndicate got notice to quit . You dont shoot a friends farms for neigh on 40 years with out having a bit of pull . Absulutely no more syndicate shoots . Harnser . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al4x Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 I bet you got the agro Harnser despite respecting them and not doing anything to interfere with pheasants etc. I know we get grief yet never shoot near pens when birds are in and keep clear of woods and covers once they're released till the end of the season. In my case my mate will take the farm on from his dad in a few years and then the syndicate will be out he's even been shot at in the early days by the keeper and that takes a bit of forgetting. Ok the keeper didn't know him and he was walking past his landrover but it was his own farm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Sarakun Posted December 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Blimey al4x.. Shot at? Whatever possesses some people, not love and protection of their fellow man obviously. My son just suggested a Real Tree Gimp Suit for our Gamekeeper. He is 11, so now I am wondering where he watched Pulp Fiction, not round mine he didn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al4x Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 yup from a distance as the keeper being the usual everyones out to get me thought he was about to break into his truck, being young he never told his parents which is why the bloke is still there. real tree gimp suit would be ideal or you could look on ebay for some of the stick on bullet holes and plaster his truck with them, give you a laugh for a minute of so till he realised they weren't real Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr lee Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 (edited) Fake stick on number plates. We used to race enduro bikes in a team and one of the lads thought he was gods gift to the game. Always spoke down to everybody and expected you to let him passon the very odd occasion he got behind you. One weekends race down south everybody was camping over and he took himself off on his own and ignored the rest of the team. Come morning when he woke he had new number plates. W4****. Lad drove all the way home with them on without realising too. We didn't see him much after that. Edited December 7, 2009 by mr lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun4860 Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 why dont you just take the poor bloke to one side and have a word.... he might be totally misunderstood and just yearning for a bit of friendship...... shaun.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banjobill Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 well chocolate elax springs to mind. or even better a bottle of scotch laced with suryp of figs and paracetamol. you could also give him a box of 12g carts with a couple of 20g mixed in. does he have a fish pond if so a couple of large pikke may help BB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight32 Posted December 8, 2009 Report Share Posted December 8, 2009 well chocolate elax springs to mind.or even better a bottle of scotch laced with suryp of figs and paracetamol. you could also give him a box of 12g carts with a couple of 20g mixed in. does he have a fish pond if so a couple of large pikke may help BB I have never heard of that one....Is that a successful laxative potion? I am always on the look out for useful remedies like that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Sarakun Posted December 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 8, 2009 why dont you just take the poor bloke to one side and have a word.... he might be totally misunderstood and just yearning for a bit of friendship...... shaun.... Tried this one shaun4860, but he just walks off as though you are not there. Thing is, I know his dad, who did a job for me once and is the complete opposite and can't do enough to help you. I asked his dad if he used to beat him as a child, or deprive him of toys, or lock him in the cupboard under the stairs. Nothing like, said he loved him to bits and gave him all he asked for within reason. Now he is plain rude to him too. Some people are just grumpy and miserable, and these people seem to grow up to be Gamekeepers. I have just acquired, last week, Pigeon shooting permission on another large estate locally. The farmer was great and couldn't be more helpful. I arranged through him to meet the Gamekeeper, as I firmly believe you have to work together. He seems ok on the phone and is going to show me around the estate in his Land Rover this week. A promising start but watch this space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dougall Posted December 8, 2009 Report Share Posted December 8, 2009 Get him a Larsen Trap and say this may assist you with the magpies. Nothing gives a 'keeper a message better than telling him how to do his job. Out of interest is he a good keeper?What do you tip him on shoot days? Personally life is too short for someone to cloud shoot days,I would give him a written warning as part of his job is to be civil to the people paying his wages and if he does'nt like it he can $%^& off. Happy Xmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MC Posted December 8, 2009 Report Share Posted December 8, 2009 well chocolate elax springs to mind.or even better a bottle of scotch laced with suryp of figs and paracetamol. you could also give him a box of 12g carts with a couple of 20g mixed in. does he have a fish pond if so a couple of large pikke may help BB That is actually incredibly dangerous and stupid to suggest it. It is one thing to get him to **** through the eye of a needle but another thing altogether to injure him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pyr8 Posted December 8, 2009 Report Share Posted December 8, 2009 get him a blobagram on the next shoot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banjobill Posted December 8, 2009 Report Share Posted December 8, 2009 I have never heard of that one....Is that a successful laxative potion? I am always on the look out for useful remedies like that? Oh yes its effective, and you dont feel it coming, tyhe first thing you know is the warm sensation around your a*$£. As for the cartridges you would be able to tell the difference by the rattle and fullness of the box, also the colour may help; had it done to me by a mate i found out and a good laugh was had- heb got the bottle of scotch! BB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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