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Oh Dear....


AlistairB
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PhilR and I had planned to go after some pigeons on the rape today before the roost shoot. We met as agreed at 9 am and had a quick drive round the land that we're allowed to shoot on for our syndicate.

 

There were a couple of possibilities but neither of us being local, we hadn’t really had a chance to do a major recce. We ended up heading towards a couple of fields we'd seen plenty of birds in the previous 2 Saturdays.

 

"So how do we get set up without spooking them" says Phil, "I know, let’s drive into the woods and come at them from there"

 

Ok, I thought, we both had Discovery’s with decent (ish in my case) tyres on. So off we set, into the woods.

 

"Lets go down the first ride on the right, at the bottom of that turn right and we'll be at the bottom corner of the field" I said, so off we went. It was wet, apparently it had been raining solid for 24 hours.

 

I think I may also have said something like "we've got 4x4's, we should use them" D'oh

 

Phil went first, slipping and sliding but making good progress, I followed on, slipping sliding, making good progress.

 

As we got down the ride, it got very wet, so much so I could have done a samba with the steering wheel but it would have made no difference to the direction I was going - straight into a ******* great big crevasse in the track that Phil had managed to avoid - that was it, I was done for, diffs locks in, still no good. I flashed Phil, who stopped and came and had a look.

 

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I was well and truely stuck! So we decided to turn Phil round to tow me out. (in the distance in this photo)

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He got stuck, after 30 minutes of trying to move his car round, it was done for - time for the phone call. By this time we had spent a good 45 minutes laughing like drains, uttering phrases like "Who's ******* bright idea was this" and "What a useless pair of ***** we are"!

 

Neither of us dared phone the farmer, so a couple of answer phone messages to ColinF and he was on his way. Now we were hoping that his landcruiser with over sized mud tyres would be good enough for the job - after a few tugs, I got 2 feet back and that was it.

 

We let Colin make the call. The response - yes come and get the tractor, drag them out and then tell them to **** off (with a slight smile to it!). Colin struggled off up the track and Phil and I decided to have a brew. Out came the camping stove, kettle and all essentials except sugar - off I trotted the 300 yards through wet claggy, (now newly rutted and slippery) clay back to mine for my flask.

 

As we sat there, in the distance we could hear a rumble getting louder and louder. Then this arrived, £100+k of GPS guided **** tractor.

 

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Front tyres, 5 foot high, back tyres 7 foot high and 3 foot wide, what a beast!

 

In a jiffy, we were both out, although to be fair even the tractor struggled a little bit. So having arrived at 9am, we got set up at 1230. All good you might think!

 

We were about 70 yards apart, phone rings, its Phil. The hunt are coming past - ok, 1 minute later the master of the hounds comes past, pleasantries are exchanged, off he goes to the gate at the bottom of the field. 5 minutes later, an odd noise assails my ears, *** I think, it gets louder and louder. I look behind me, and low and behold, the entire pack of hounds are 30 yards away tearing down the ride, pheasants going left right and centre. Any pigeon worth it salt by this point is at least 2 counties away. The saving grace was that we'd parked the newly rescued Discos, resplendent in their mud brown colour schemes in front of the gate so the horses couldn’t jump it!

 

Sod this, not a bird in sight, back to the cars, another brew and chat with the hunt supporters and I thought sod it, I’m off home - Phil stayed for roost shooting - good luck to him!

 

So, what did we shoot, by the time i left, the scoreboard had Phil 1 pigeon, Alistair, absolutley sweet FA!

 

What a cock up - but by Christ, I haven’t laughed so hard for so long in years!

 

AB

 

I have no doubt Phil will have plenty to add to this!!

Edited by blackla
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Don't knock the brew up, it's what you need when everything has gone tits up :good:

 

I reckon you should man up and take it without sugar - I offered you a selection of PG Tips, Breakfast tea, Nescafe coffee or decaff, you'll be wanting a bacon sarnie next :drool:

 

I'm glad Chard wasn't with us, he'd have **** a brick with that monster John Deere rumbling down the track towards us :lol:

 

Anyway it was another fine mess you got us into, how you didn't see that socking great rut that I skillfully avoided I'll never know :D

 

I think you should nip down to Specsavers - it might improve your shooting too :o :lol::P

 

A big thanks to ColinF for trying to rescue us with his Landcruiser and then going and getting the big Tonka toy and doing an excellent job of pulling us out :thanks::thanks:

Me thinks AT2s weren't perhaps the right tool for the job and a set of MTs are next on the shopping list.

 

Anyhow the scores on the doors for the roost shooting were ColinF 3 crows, me 1 and 1 pigeon, I was surprised you snuck away early without waiting for the main event, were you on a promise this evening ;)

 

Roll on next Saturday unless we're barred :innocent:

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:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

What a crack - yes, big thanks to Colin and his **** tractor driving skills - although i reckon yours was harder to get out then mine! Never seen a tractor pull a tree out of the ground quite like that!

 

The tea looked great, but with no sugar.....its just not right.

 

And Phil, no - chance would be a fine thing!! Tired, wet, and i wanted to wash the car off on the M1 in the rain and cover all the nice clean cars with some Northants mud!

 

I'll be back (bearing gifts i think!) but next saturday is the shooting show and i need to get a bucket seat - now that might improve my shooting!

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Hi Alistair and Phil.

Well good fun was had by all it would seem.

Can you hold on my invite until the weather improves a little.

I have now added to my list of bits to take out, a pot of sugar for Alistair.

4x4's give you a sense of being involnerable, I think we can all learn from this.

By the way I think I laughed as much as you, and this compares with the missing fore end experience that I endured.

Keep up the good work lads.

bakerboy

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Oh dear indeed, when did driving down that track ever look like a good idea??? Especially as it ends up further away from the rape field than when you started :lol::lol::lol:

 

Alistair, yours was easier to get out, Phil had made a much better job of getting stuck than you :whistling:

 

Phil, mud tyres wouldn't have helped. You would still have got stuck, but would have made even more of a mess. I had trouble getting back up the flat and un-rutted part of the track in the Toyota. When the clay gets wet it is very slippery and there is no grip at all, the slightest incline is impossible and the truck will go sideways if there is any camber. Luckily, a big heavy tractor with 4" cleats on the tyres doesn't have this problem! I think that a smaller tractor with narrower tyres would have struggled.

 

You are both lucky that the farmer is so accommodating and is willing to let us use his kit, otherwise you would still be there now, and Phil's tea making facilities can only last so long :lol:

 

Anyway, I am happy I was able to help you out and everything turned out well in the end :good: Just don't make a habit of it....

 

Colin

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Oh dear indeed, when did driving down that track ever look like a good idea??? Especially as it ends up further away from the rape field than when you started :lol::lol::lol:

 

 

 

 

and there we have it landrover drivers know your limits :lol:

 

on a serious note I reckon you get better at assesing things the more off road driving you do and probably more cautious once you work out what a *** you feel calling for help

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Where on earth were you going? :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

I distinctly remember mentioning that anything other than the metalled road would end in tears guys.

 

I think you'd have been better calling the kindly farmer out, he'd probably have invited you in for breakfast afterwards!

 

Can't leave you alone for 5 minutes :yp:

 

Rich

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Rich, how come you can manage to remember saying that but you can't remember to bring the soup for elevenses on shoot days :P:lol: :o

 

Phil

 

Unfortunately on that day my glamorous assistant was away and I was left home alone fending for myself.

 

When the organisational skills were issued I think I was outside having a crafty fag, its a miracle I was there at all :lol:

 

I still think you should have asked the kindly farmer for help though.....

 

Rich :yp:

Edited by RichardH
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