BTMS Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Appologies in advance to our friends in blue. While I was driving down the M25 the otherday, (going a little faster than I should have :thumbs: ) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait The copper pulled me ove, walked up to the car, and with that classic smirk, asked "Runway too short?" To which I replied "i am late for work" To which he asked "What do you do?" "I am a rectum stretcher!" I responded The copper was surprised and confused "A WHAT? and just what does a rectum stretcher do" Well I said "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way round and up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely stretch the hole, until its about 6 feet!" Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiosly, "And just what do you do with a 6ft ar*ehole?" To which I replied "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge" Speeding ticket £105.00 Look on coppers face: Priceless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
remytherussell Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Very good. May I quote you in the pub tonight. RTR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTMS Posted November 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Your welcome, as long as I can make some one laugh or smile in a day its been a good un Brian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARK 1 Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 gud one mate :thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deako Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 .... :thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTMS Posted November 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Deako, I know !!just changed my reg just in case :thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deako Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 lol.... You're right though...motorway cops, and traffic cops in general do tend to be ####ers! Inner city street cops are too busy to hassle motorists! :thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aled_cky Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 i dont know anyone that has ever been pulled over, but all these new speed camera's have caught 2people i know, all doing well past a k. Aled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vermin Dropper Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 all doing well past a k.Aled Bloody Hell they were shifting, :thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ernyha Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 Bloody Hell they were shifting, :thumbs: VD I thought you knew by now that Aled was a little bit on the liberal side when it comes to measurements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aled_cky Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 na over 100mph.. = k. that isnt a bad speed, round here on these country lanes thats about average. depends what car, v8, MG, Golf, Vectra, 306 just to name a few that go racing on the country lanes. im either in Golf, 306 or v8. Aled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry d Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 :thumbs: Aled I was under the impression that you were usually in a strait jacket Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ernyha Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 na over 100mph.. = k. :thumbs: Aled a " k" denotes a 1000 , now we know how you shoot rabbits at 100 yards with your .410 Keep them coming though as I am a bit bored at the moment comforting the dogs with WW3 going on outside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aled_cky Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 ah poor dogs, our's cower into their sheds usually tonight. Devils night should be banned(halloween) and Guy Fawkes night should be scraped aswell, what did he ever do wrong? not being hofensive but i think it is just an excuse for nutters(usually townies) to go out torturing animals and scare all of the old people and stuff. if it was up to me, i'd ban veggies, ban vegans, ban Halloween and ban FireWorks night from the country!! i couldn't give a **** if they got scrapped, would be good ridance. Aled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_stag88 Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 na over 100mph.. = k. Aled a " k" denotes a 1000 , now we know how you shoot rabbits at 100 yards with your .410 Keep them coming though as I am a bit bored at the moment comforting the dogs with WW3 going on outside. You mean C. Aled, you don't have a driving licence.. You can't even drive a tractor on the road yet :thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aled_cky Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 cant drive on the road. i go with my mates. and before you say anything, yes i do have some. :thumbs: Aled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted November 5, 2004 Report Share Posted November 5, 2004 I wish I was there to see his face..........Priceless mate 10 outa 10 LB :thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vermin Dropper Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 This just bought back memories of a story my bro told me years ago. He was talking to a police officer and during the conversation asked the copper (sorry, police man) if he could take a joke, the police man said yes so my brother asked him:- whats got 4 legs and a Tw*t half way up it's back, I dunno, the copper said. My brother replied, "A police Horse!" :lol: :thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aled_cky Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 ah good one Vermin Dropper. pure class. can you explain your last post more clearly LB? Aled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vermin Dropper Posted November 6, 2004 Report Share Posted November 6, 2004 Aled, I think LB is saying, he would have loved to be there to see the look on the copper's face. anyhow......why am I explaining it? Must be the Jack Daniels. :thumbs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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