novice cushie shooter Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 mine was with my dad when we were fishing a river called the yarrow in the borders, i was 14 at the time and we were waiting up on the road for the bus pick up. Down below the road was a farm and we could see the farmers sons larking about on closer inspection we could see that they were in the sesspit throwing muck at each other. We found this hilarious and it went on for about 10 minutes rugby tacking and flinging more poo at each other before mr farmer realised what they were up to scooted over and gave them a thick ear and ordered them to hose each other down. Its one of those moments we look back on now for a wee chuckle. whats your funny ones...? Gordon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scolopax Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 Not quite the same but in a highseat one evening the peace was shattered by the neighbouring farmers grand kids racing three assorted tractors around a grass field well into dark. I guess he was out that night ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
novice cushie shooter Posted February 9, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 I hope it wasnt a deere...?? Could have landed you in bother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
39TDS Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 My Dad reckons watching a young man tell the fella across the valley that he'd got his daughter pregnant out of wedlock was quite a spectacle. Sad thing is the old man, his future SIL and the grandson are all passed away now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisherman Mike Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 My late Grandfather was a groom for a family near Woodstock Oxfordshire and in the 1920's was exercising a hunter in woodland near Bicester when he came across a gentleman in a glade painting a watercolour...he stopped and passed the time of day with him and a sip from his hip flask.....It was none other than Winston Spencer Churchill... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dekers Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 Probably 8-10 years back I was out in the field with a buddy, he let go a 12g in the corner of a field close to a fallen, rotten tree, and dispatched a rabbit quite close, the shot as it transpires was a little low! We got over to the rabbit, picked it up only to find all four of its legs missing, as I walked away with said bunny I turned round to see him wondering around the area...what are you doing.......looking for its legs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islandgun Posted February 9, 2014 Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 A second hand story and so old i can't even remember where I heard it, On a charter boat out of Lowerstoft with a bunch of locals one feeling sick throws up over the side the rubby dubby also contained his upper set of dentures, a while later one of his mates playing a trick attaches his own top set to his hook and says Iv'e found your teeth, seasick steve tries the top set and finding them to be a bad fit says there not mine and chucks them over the side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
novice cushie shooter Posted February 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 Ha ha good chaps thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secretagentmole Posted February 10, 2014 Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 (edited) Picture the scene, river bashing bunch of fishermen from Trent Polytechnic, going for their first ever days cod fishing off of Whitby (booked through Ralph Tose). Now the person who booked the trip (myself) knew what Whitby was like and despite there being a half price Guiness promotion in the Hull area (where the chairman of the Angling Club came from), only had a couple of pints of the black stuff. We did find a nice chippy on the way out of the Hull suburbs so had a late night scoff (quite a few had mushy peas to, I had a pickled egg). Now to keep costs down no hotel was booked, so 10 snoring, Guiness fuelled students are in a Ford Transit, fuelled with more Carbon Dibaxside producing solids, are sleeping on the dockside. I swear the headlining in the Transit was white not brown on the way up. Anyway the tide is out and I point out the handily convenient toilets across the car park, away from the water. About 4am there is a sickening scream and a splat! Turns out one of our number was not paying attention to closely, went to pee in the harbour, caught his foot ona mooring rope and went over the edge. We see what looks like Swamp Thing coming up the ladder. Not nice at all! He has landed in 400 years of seal, seagull and god knows what excrement that has flowed down river along with 100 years of fish and chips, 300 years of fish guts and 50 years of tourist vomit. He was informed that unless he performed ablutions in the sinks in the toilets and changed into the dry set of clothing that would be needed if it was a choppy day out and that thankfully he did bring with him, he was not getting in that blasted van! So after an intensive was down which emptied 4 hand soap dispensers, he finally got back to the van just as we were getting up! Now there is something magical about food, no matter what you had the night before, no matter how bad, the smell of a decent bit of bacon sizzling can turn you into a ravenous monster. I was already up getting the info on what had been landing the fish (I was an experienced sea angler who had his own gear, the others were using tackle provided by the boat). I was happily munching my after bacon bap teacake and glugging down a coffee when 9 Zombies stagger into the Pilot's Cabin turning ravenous though still green. They each wearily picked up a bacon bap and swilled it down with warm liquid of one form or another then we all go onto the boat. I was rigging the Ugly Stik up whilst the others were holding things down, now it was not a smooth day, but not a bad one, swell was about 2-4 ft. Skipper comes round and asks if people want a coffee, to which the Chairman just hangs over the side trying to vomit his kidneys up. "Sorry lad I did nae see you were puking!" the skipper said. Another at the bow hung his head over the gunwales, shortly after "Keep going lad, if you are ground baiting you only got 200 foot of water to get to the bottom!" was another rejoinder.... Edited February 11, 2014 by secretagentmole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old rooster Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 Many years ago a group of us went to a barn dance at one of the local farms. One of the guys never went anywhere without wearing a suit, the rest of us were more appropriately dressed for the occasion. On arriving, matey in the suit decides he's not going to pay to get in so he creeps off round the side of the buildings, where it was poorly lit, and vaults over the fence. It was like the rabbit in the hat but in reverse as he disappeared from sight on landing. Next thing we see him through the gloom emerging from the run off tank for the farmyard looking like something from a third rate horror movie and smelling worse than labours immigration policies!! The lad who had given him a lift explained in no uncertain terms that he wasn't taking him home that night. Can't recall how he got back as the rest of us got distracted from that particular entertainment by a car load of young ladies arriving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ollie Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 My bestman brought up this incident during my Wedding as part of his speech. My bestman & myself were out roost shooting years ago in a local wood when the urge for a number 2 came on me. Being in the woods I said to him that I needed to go. Off I head up the lane and into the trees to lighten the load!!!! I drop my trousers and I am just ready to go when I hear a lot of buzzing, I look all around and can't see anything, I then look down and I am going to the toilet on top of a wasps nest. Now I really hate wasps, I am scared silly of them, so I run back down the lane shouting & swearing with my trousers at my ankles, while my mate is bemused as to what is happening. I only managed to get stung once and when the wasps had disappered, my mate and I went back to the site & sent 4 shots down the next and legged it . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silver pigeon 3 Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 A good friend and i were on a pretty exclusive carp syndicate and the morning after a good social he headed into the woods behind his swim to take a number 2, to keep things clean we used to put a bag in a bucket and use it like a conventional toilet. He was sat there carrying out his business when i saw about 20 ramblers heading off path towards him, i thought if i should shout a warning but thought the comedy factor would be to great to miss so i followed behind to see the reactions of both partys! When the ramblers rounded the corner they were greated by my mate in mid flow on the bucket, to be fair to him he kept his cool and greeted them with a cheary "good morning" all the ramblers then filed past him no more than 2 feet away and i just feel to the floor in pieces. Probably the funniest event on the bank i have ever had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islandgun Posted February 11, 2014 Report Share Posted February 11, 2014 A good friend and i were on a pretty exclusive carp syndicate and the morning after a good social he headed into the woods behind his swim to take a number 2, to keep things clean we used to put a bag in a bucket and use it like a conventional toilet. He was sat there carrying out his business when i saw about 20 ramblers heading off path towards him, i thought if i should shout a warning but thought the comedy factor would be to great to miss so i followed behind to see the reactions of both partys! When the ramblers rounded the corner they were greated by my mate in mid flow on the bucket, to be fair to him he kept his cool and greeted them with a cheary "good morning" all the ramblers then filed past him no more than 2 feet away and i just feel to the floor in pieces. Probably the funniest event on the bank i have ever had. Very funny I would have loved to have been there Reminds me of something that happened to a mate, not sporting but in a field, he was diesel fitter and was called in to repair a tractor, caught short he gets in behind a hedge for no 2's, upon completion he pulls on his overalls to discover he had carped in them and was wearing yesterdays dinner on the back of his neck, he drove home alone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cottonseed Posted February 12, 2014 Report Share Posted February 12, 2014 A good friend and i were on a pretty exclusive carp syndicate and the morning after a good social he headed into the woods behind his swim to take a number 2, to keep things clean we used to put a bag in a bucket and use it like a conventional toilet. He was sat there carrying out his business when i saw about 20 ramblers heading off path towards him, i thought if i should shout a warning but thought the comedy factor would be to great to miss so i followed behind to see the reactions of both partys! When the ramblers rounded the corner they were greated by my mate in mid flow on the bucket, to be fair to him he kept his cool and greeted them with a cheary "good morning" all the ramblers then filed past him no more than 2 feet away and i just feel to the floor in pieces. Probably the funniest event on the bank i have ever had. Very funny I would have loved to have been there Reminds me of something that happened to a mate, not sporting but in a field, he was diesel fitter and was called in to repair a tractor, caught short he gets in behind a hedge for no 2's, upon completion he pulls on his overalls to discover he had carped in them and was wearing yesterdays dinner on the back of his neck, he drove home alone My missus wants to know why I'm ****. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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